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Spenser is scared of me!

susie bun

susie bun

Wise Old Thumper
My parents having gone out and the heating being off, I thought I would bring Spenser in for some exercise. He wasn't having any of it. In fact, he went over to the far corner of the lower hutch and cowered. I feel awful. :cry::cry: I know he is not a toy to be played with, but he only gets a really decent run if I bring him in. :? His run on the grass is an octagonal trixi pen, so not that big for a large rabbit. In the house I can open the door from the conservatory into the living-room and he can really get up speed and stretch his paws properly. :) I might try again about lunchtime.
 
Blackberry & Co said:
Perhaps he would be happier if you went back to using the carrier?
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That's what so upsetting. I quickly realised (before even trying to pick him up) that the carrier was the best option today. Normally he runs into his bedroom when he sees it, I put the open carrier at the gap between bedroom and living-quarters, and he just need a gentle tap on the bum to get him in. Today he went upstairs, downstairs, upstairs, downstairs (did get some exercise) then into the corner. I gave him a halloween biscuit to make up for stressing him. He has the vet this afternoon, so maybe I should just let him have a hutch day ... I am running out of time for that elusive photo for the fundraiser though!
 
susie bun said:
That's what so upsetting. I quickly realised (before even trying to pick him up) that the carrier was the best option today. Normally he runs into his bedroom when he sees it, I put the open carrier at the gap between bedroom and living-quarters, and he just need a gentle tap on the bum to get him in. Today he went upstairs, downstairs, upstairs, downstairs (did get some exercise) then into the corner. I gave him a halloween biscuit to make up for stressing him. He has the vet this afternoon, so maybe I should just let him have a hutch day ... I am running out of time for that elusive photo for the fundraiser though!
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Take your camera to the vets with you - that will be a different background ;)
 
I think you have to remember that how he is acting is not personal to you. He is acting as the stereotypical rabbit does, which is not enjoying being picked up. I dn't think many people enjoying randomly whizzing through air without an explanation or understanding of why, and its the same, but moreso, for bunnies, because of the prey instinct.

How do you approach him? From above? From his level? Are you anxious/upset/scared? Are you calm? How do you pick him up?
 
I talk to him quietly, and approach from as close to his level as I can get. This is obviously easier if we are indoors. I'm not expecting him to become a cuddly bunny - I know most rabbits just aren't! I scoop him up using my right hand to support his bum and my left to hold him close to me when he is up, so that his paws are facing in. I suspect he wasn't handled much before he came to me at 7 months, and then just when I was getting somewhere with him I broke my right arm.

I did get him in eventually this morning via the carrier, so he has had an hour of decent exercise. :)
 
You just need to win his trust again. You've moved forward before and can again :) Just no more arm breaking.

However, if you have to use the carrier, then just go with that and enjoy him in other ways.
 
I wouldn't worry about it too much. Rabbits have their own ideas of what they like, or tolerate, and don't like. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. :)

Rabbits will never love you in the same way a person would so sometimes you have to look at it in another way. You earn love with cuddles and treats and toys and in many other ways. But it takes a prey animal so much longer to love you and trust you beyond all that. Humans and dogs seem to love openly, but that's why the love of a rabbit can be so much sweeter, because you really have to put the time and effort in. ;)

I'm sure Spenser loves you. Running away from you is his way of expressing himself where a person would say 'oi leave me alone'. It will take him a long time to learn that being picked up means good things because at the moment his prey instinct tells him he's going to get eaten. And I bet half the time he's running away from you he's just playing. :lol:

I have got Smoo to the point where she runs up to me when I come into the room. But I know it's just for food because if I don't have any she soon runs off! Sometimes she wants cuddles but it's mostly food. I've had her almost a year. Grimlock just likes to be near me. That's taken a lot longer. I've had him three and a half years. :) Lopsie I had for eight years. He knew when I was upset and would come to me and nudge me. It takes a long time to build up those sorts of relationships but I think you're doing amazingly with Spenser. You can track his progress through your posts and if you read back I think you'll be surprised. Don't give up, don't feel bad. You're a great bunny mummy. Everything just takes time. :)
 
Jenova said:
I wouldn't worry about it too much. Rabbits have their own ideas of what they like, or tolerate, and don't like. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. :)

Rabbits will never love you in the same way a person would so sometimes you have to look at it in another way. You earn love with cuddles and treats and toys and in many other ways. But it takes a prey animal so much longer to love you and trust you beyond all that. Humans and dogs seem to love openly, but that's why the love of a rabbit can be so much sweeter, because you really have to put the time and effort in. ;)

I'm sure Spenser loves you. Running away from you is his way of expressing himself where a person would say 'oi leave me alone'. It will take him a long time to learn that being picked up means good things because at the moment his prey instinct tells him he's going to get eaten. And I bet half the time he's running away from you he's just playing. :lol:

I have got Smoo to the point where she runs up to me when I come into the room. But I know it's just for food because if I don't have any she soon runs off! Sometimes she wants cuddles but it's mostly food. I've had her almost a year. Grimlock just likes to be near me. That's taken a lot longer. I've had him three and a half years. :) Lopsie I had for eight years. He knew when I was upset and would come to me and nudge me. It takes a long time to build up those sorts of relationships but I think you're doing amazingly with Spenser. You can track his progress through your posts and if you read back I think you'll be surprised. Don't give up, don't feel bad. You're a great bunny mummy. Everything just takes time. :)
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Thanks, that's made me feel better. :) I've just been out to give him a bit of apple, which he accepted without atching going to the trouble of turning round so that I could see his wee face. :roll:
 
susie bun said:
Thanks, that's made me feel better. :) I've just been out to give him a bit of apple, which he accepted without atching going to the trouble of turning round so that I could see his wee face. :roll:
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That proves he is not scared of you.

On my website is an article about 'Bonding with your bunny' maybe have a read because I'm pretty sure it will show you you and he are bonded in his own comfortable way.
 
Sky-O said:
That proves he is not scared of you.

On my website is an article about 'Bonding with your bunny' maybe have a read because I'm pretty sure it will show you you and he are bonded in his own comfortable way.
Click to expand...

Thanks, I read the article and can now see that I am getting there. :) It's tricky because he's essentially an outside rabbit and can only be brought in when the heating is off/low (and ideally when my parents are out, although he is 'allowed' in). However, I must start thinking more positively and stop dwelling on problems and negatives. I think part of the problem is that I very effortlessly bonded with my friend's rabbit last year, and keep having to remind myself that (a) that was a pure fluke as I knew nothing about bonding and not mighty much about rabbits and (b) all rabbits have different personalities.
 
When you get a challenging bunny you have to focus on the little achievements and when you finally get there, its so much more rewarding.

I wonder if it might be worth working at accepting him for who he is, not who you want him to be (sounds like you're still holding onto what you want him to be because of what you said about your friends rabbit). I know that's not always easy though.
 
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