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I'm devastated

Zara

Mama Doe
I've been told by my boyfriend's mum that the rabbits have to be outside by Christmas :cry:

I've tried everything to make her realise the rabbits are safer inside and that the garden is too dangerous with all those plants, but she doesn't care, she doesn't want them inside messing up the house despite having three cats, one who wee's and poo's everywhere. I'm not allowed to remove the dangerous plants, build a run, or make the shed more liveable for them (The shed is dangerous too, full of gardening tools and sharp pointy things) so there's just no way of making the garden safer.

Rascal has been living inside for the three months now, he's caused NO problems! He's not chewed anything, pee'd on anything, messed anything up, but it's still not good enough :cry: I'd get my own place but I currently am unable work as I've been signed off sick due to being diagnosed as bipolar and it'll be months before I can get back to work, and the boyfriend hasn't got a job that can support both of us and my DLA allowance won't even cover my rent.

As selfish as it sounds, the rabbits are a huge help with coping with my illness. In a depressive episode the only think keeping me going is my rabbits, knowing they need me no matter what. When I'm in a manic episode, the rabbits are my anchor to reality. I need them almost as much as they need me, they're my priority. I can't risk them living in a garden and shed that could kill them! There's no compromise either way, if at least I could rabbitify the shed I might be able to handle it, but no, I'm not allowed. There's nowhere in the garden I can put a fold-up run to keep them away from the plants either (The garden is full of ivy, wisteria, and we keep getting neighbour's cats in and there's even foxes around now)

Sean's Mum says she doesn't understand why they can't live outside again as nothing bad has happened yet (Umm, hello? My beautiful Firefly died and I never found out what happened to him, it could of been anything, a stray wisteria branch, shock, or a weak heart, it's just not worth the risk) but that's like me turning around and saying it's ok to put her cats out in a field of dogs because nothing bad might happen :shock:

And it's amazing how happier and friendlier both rabbits have been inside, sleeping on my knee, playing with the cats, snuggling on the sofa... they're safer and happier here :cry: Oh god, I hope I don't have to rehome them for their own safety, I can't bear having to lose them. They're keeping me going.
 
As the above poster has said, would you be able to talk to her about it? Does she know of your condition? If she knew how much the bunnies help you she might change her mind.
She surely can't force you put the buns outside without giving some leeway with the run and shed, where would they actually go.
 
Yes, but she doesn't want her house to be dominated by animals :cry: She's not very logical about this, like with one of the cats, who's old and slightly senile, can no longer hold her buisness in to go outside and has been having accidents all over the house (but mostly in the bathroom, the poor girl does try) but Louise won't have a litter tray inside for the cats as she hates them.

At the end of the day, which is right as it is her home, we live here, but it's HER house, so she decides the rules :(

my boyfriend, who pays rent and helps keep the house tidy, said he'd be able to think of something, but hasn't come up with a plan. I thought he'd be able to say something since he pays for our keep, bills, and food, but nothing has happened. His Mum also has mild depression and a binge drinking problem, yet I'm the one who's lectured for not being in control of my mood disorder (It takes months of therapy and medication!) and making things hard for her son :(

I'd love to go back to work and earn money to rent somewhere, but it's not a case of I can't, it's a case of I'm not ALLOWED yet until I'm on medication that works.

I feel like such a bad owner.

Yes she knows all about my condition, her main concern is how it affects Sean, and she doesn't seem to think me or the doctors are doing enough to make me better.
 
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I do sympathise. I've been very lucky. My parents were not keen on a rabbit, and when they gave way they made it clear he was to be an outside rabbit. I bought a really good hutch with an under-run, although I soon realised he would need a larger area to exercise in. I bought a portable pen, which moves round the garden every time the grass is cut. Where I've been lucky is that my parents were quickly converted to Spenser's charms! There's obviously no easy solution for you, but I really hope you work something out. I'm not an expert, but if the rabbits are to go outside it might be best for the change to be made before it gets much colder. Good luck. :wave:
 
I'm so sorry I don't know what to say. Can you not get them hutches with attached runs and have that as their bunny safe zone? I know it's not ideal at all and really not what you want but it seems like you don't really have much option :( I live with my parents and would LOVE for the bunnies to be inside but there is no way they will budge. It really does suck but I guess you have to abide by her rules if she is accommodating you.

I think, if I remember rightly, you live near Stretford? I don't know if you'd ever want to but if you need a chat or whatever I'm around :) PM me if you want my number :wave:
 
But she can't just expect the doctors to click their fingers and you'll be fine, it takes time and alot of patience.
If your bf pays rent that generally means you have a right to do whatever you want (so to speak) its really unfair that she enforces these rules and charges rent.
Are the buns confined to your room? or the whole house? You could suggest that they are in your room and not the house therefore they don't affect her.
Can your bf talk to his mum? Maybe she might understand some more if it came from him and how much your trying and putting effort in.
I'm sorry I'm prob not alot of help, I just see it as if your paying money to rent there why shouldn't you have pets in your room :roll:
 
The hutches are also a no-go as they'd make the garden "unsightley" I'm wracking my noggin for ideas. as I've said, There's so way to keep them outside and safe. Every sugfestion, be it a new hutch with a run, a playpen, etc, keep getting shot down.


^ Yeah I live in Stretford, was it you who recommended Buchanen's vets? If so cheers as they're amazing, Although Rascal now has a repuatation there as a lunatic :lol:
 
Oh and the buns are in our room for now, out of site and our of smellshot :)roll:) the cage fits snuggly in the huge built in wardrobe so they don't show up the house or get in the way, I let them out to play on the landing and downstairs when Louise is at work and clear up after them, but she doesn't like them being in our room. Heck she doesn't even like me and Sean sharing an underwear draw :shock:
 
Oh and the buns are in our room for now, out of site and our of smellshot :)roll:) the cage fits snuggly in the huge built in wardrobe so they don't show up the house or get in the way, I let them out to play on the landing and downstairs when Louise is at work and clear up after them, but she doesn't like them being in our room. Heck she doesn't even like me and Sean sharing an underwear draw :shock:

That is absolutely ridiculous they are in your room and won't affect her. :censored: I assume she is a cat person then :roll:
It's a difficult situation and I'm sorry its so difficult for you. I personally would be quite happy to say to my bfs mum if she had a problem that whatever happens in my room or what I keep in my room is none of your business.. but I understand its completely different and difficult circumstances for you and you want to try keep the peace but win this argument for your and the bunnies sake.
Maybe she just needs wearing down about changing outside (not that it would change that much). If she is worried about it affecting the garden why is she bothered if they are in your room.
Some mothers logic just confuses me :(
 
^ I'm going to ask Sean if he can do that, as it's HIS room afterall. However his Mum is used to cleaning his room for him, she'll come in the room without knocking to put clothes away and such, even tried to sort the draws and came across my private things :oops:

I pointed out to Sean that, at 23 years old, his mum shouldn't be having to treat him like a teenager and he should sort his own clothes out and decide how to have his room, but his Mum doesn't even like it when Sean get's his hair cut (She TELLS him not to get it cut short) so I'm not sure if he's up for standing up for the bunnies, he likes the easy life. When I complain about anything it's always put down as irrational and due to my mental illness >:/ she'll talk to me in a child-like voice as if I'm a confused child, so it's all up to Sean now.
 
Is she suggesting putting them out in the garden without a hutch?

You cannot put a bunny, who has been living inside, out in winter. It will die as it will not have a full coat. They should have gone out in summer or you will need to wait until spring.
 
Is she suggesting putting them out in the garden without a hutch?

You cannot put a bunny, who has been living inside, out in winter. It will die as it will not have a full coat. They should have gone out in summer or you will need to wait until spring.

You're right Raine. It's nearly Oct. now. They have to wait until Spring.
 
You're right Raine. It's nearly Oct. now. They have to wait until Spring.

This is exactly my feeling too as soon as I read the first few lines of your post. It is now TOO cold i'm afraid to safely put an indoor rabbit out, it's too late in the year. The temperatures have dropped now at night too low and too quickly for bun to be able to grow a substantial enough fur coat. It would be extremely risky to put bun outside now. So sorry to say this but it's the reality. I hope you can work something out. April/May is the earliest I would now consider it as frosts still occur in March/April.
 
I also agree about the winter thing. Perhaps also try mentioning how unsightly half eaten/half dead plants in her garden would look? (obviously you wouldn't let them eat the poisonous things but it makes a good argument if shes bothered about looks)
 
The hutches are also a no-go as they'd make the garden "unsightley" I'm wracking my noggin for ideas. as I've said, There's so way to keep them outside and safe. Every sugfestion, be it a new hutch with a run, a playpen, etc, keep getting shot down.


^ Yeah I live in Stretford, was it you who recommended Buchanen's vets? If so cheers as they're amazing, Although Rascal now has a repuatation there as a lunatic :lol:

Yup that was me! Awrh bless Rascal he is adorable :love:

Hope you get this whole dilemma sorted out :)
 
I'm so sorry this sounds like a complete nightmare. Honestly, longer term, it sounds like you both need to look at moving out. Try and get yourself on the council waiting list, or if you have other friends/relatives you could lodge with maybe look into that.
 
I'm no pychologist, but she sounds very controlling, and the problem probably goes deeper than anything to do with your rabbit ( still bossing her son around aged 23? I never go into my son's rooms, never have done- what they do in there is their own business!!!!)

Can your therapist intervene in a tactful, clever way, to make her feel she would be involved in your recovery if she relented on this issue?? Makes me feel mad to hear how nicely you are looking after your bun, and trying to get better. Wished my son had a nice GF like you (and bun too!!!)

If the move outside is forced, how about a nice wendy house?? Waltons do one for about £130 5x4 , more expensive for bigger ones, you could add a run that collapses away perhaps?? Might get a bigger one on ebay, paint it nice colours etc, pots of plants outside......
 
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