rabswood
Wise Old Thumper
Smurf is in her office sitting in a large Ikea office chair her long skinny back legs crossed resting on a desk in front of her.
Smurfy: Comes in to my office Uncle Beige.
Beige: I don’t believe you have your own office!
Smurfy: Would yous like a cigar?
Beige: No thank you
Smurfy: Malibu?
Beige: No thank you
Smurfy: Whispa Gold?
Beige: No thank you I am trying to give them up
Smurfy: Metacam?
Beige: No! Where have you got all that stuff from Smurfy and how come you have your own office?
Smurfy: Because Uncle Beige I iz the Smurf. Iz a very special bunny. I have summand yous here today to talk about how things are run around here and how there iz going to be changes.
Beige: Smurfy, Smurfy, Smurfy you are only a baby bunny. I am in charge of everything that goes on around here, all the other rabbits know that.
Smurfy: First of all it’s Smurf to yous uncle Beige. Smurfy is a baby’s name and secondly I am not like other rabbits.
Beige: That’s true you are smaller than a Guinea Pig and your back legs don’t work properly.
Smurfy: That may be true but Iz also have special powers that have been passed down through generations of Fox Hill rabbits. My mummeh Brindle Belle also has these powers.
Beige: When your mother left you and CoCo Chanel here I promised her I would look after you both.
Smurfy: Yes before she left, she said Uncle Beige will look after you both but what ever you do don’t trust him with your money or your sprouts.
Beige: She said that!
Smurfy: Yes she did.
Beige: But haven’t I taught you well? You can do readings and writings now.
Smurfy: Yes and I have read all the books on the book list you gave me including a few others, Mein Kampf, Mussolini’s Italy, the Autobiography of Joseph Stalin, Miffy Goes to School.
Beige: You have read all those?
Smurfy: Yes… well actually I only flicked through Miffy Goes to School while I was on the litter tray.
Beige: As you do
Smurfy: Yes as you do. Anyway from now on Uncle Beige Iz is in charge of the free ranging rota and veggie and fruit distribution. You can still be head of security but yous report back to me. You may continue as Chair of the Rabsville Tennants and Residents Association, my PA will attend meetings on my behalf and feedback.
Beige: Your PA?
Smurfy: Yes DoDo’s the Hamster. He always makes sure that Iz hears about everything that goes on around here.
Beige: I knew I couldn’t trust that hamster! So what makes you think I will agree to this and give you all my power?
Smurfy: Because Uncle Beige Iz knows where you keep your sprout hoard. Iz knows where the hole is that you are secretly digging and Iz knows about that Polish wildie doe, Nora Bunlenski that you are seeing
Beige: No one knows about that doe!
Smurf: And if you want to keep it that way yous know my conditions.
Beige: By taking you under my paw I thought I was doing your mother a favour but now I can see I have created an evil genius. I am proud of you Smurfy I have taught you well.
Smurf: Yes you as Uncle Beige. Now do you want a Wispa Gold or not, they are Auntie Angie’s favourites.
Beige: OK just one then.
Smuf reaches over and opens the bottom drawer of her desk which is full of Wispa Golds, she tosses one over to Beige.
Smurfy: Comes in to my office Uncle Beige.
Beige: I don’t believe you have your own office!
Smurfy: Would yous like a cigar?
Beige: No thank you
Smurfy: Malibu?
Beige: No thank you
Smurfy: Whispa Gold?
Beige: No thank you I am trying to give them up
Smurfy: Metacam?
Beige: No! Where have you got all that stuff from Smurfy and how come you have your own office?
Smurfy: Because Uncle Beige I iz the Smurf. Iz a very special bunny. I have summand yous here today to talk about how things are run around here and how there iz going to be changes.
Beige: Smurfy, Smurfy, Smurfy you are only a baby bunny. I am in charge of everything that goes on around here, all the other rabbits know that.
Smurfy: First of all it’s Smurf to yous uncle Beige. Smurfy is a baby’s name and secondly I am not like other rabbits.
Beige: That’s true you are smaller than a Guinea Pig and your back legs don’t work properly.
Smurfy: That may be true but Iz also have special powers that have been passed down through generations of Fox Hill rabbits. My mummeh Brindle Belle also has these powers.
Beige: When your mother left you and CoCo Chanel here I promised her I would look after you both.
Smurfy: Yes before she left, she said Uncle Beige will look after you both but what ever you do don’t trust him with your money or your sprouts.
Beige: She said that!
Smurfy: Yes she did.
Beige: But haven’t I taught you well? You can do readings and writings now.
Smurfy: Yes and I have read all the books on the book list you gave me including a few others, Mein Kampf, Mussolini’s Italy, the Autobiography of Joseph Stalin, Miffy Goes to School.
Beige: You have read all those?
Smurfy: Yes… well actually I only flicked through Miffy Goes to School while I was on the litter tray.
Beige: As you do
Smurfy: Yes as you do. Anyway from now on Uncle Beige Iz is in charge of the free ranging rota and veggie and fruit distribution. You can still be head of security but yous report back to me. You may continue as Chair of the Rabsville Tennants and Residents Association, my PA will attend meetings on my behalf and feedback.
Beige: Your PA?
Smurfy: Yes DoDo’s the Hamster. He always makes sure that Iz hears about everything that goes on around here.
Beige: I knew I couldn’t trust that hamster! So what makes you think I will agree to this and give you all my power?
Smurfy: Because Uncle Beige Iz knows where you keep your sprout hoard. Iz knows where the hole is that you are secretly digging and Iz knows about that Polish wildie doe, Nora Bunlenski that you are seeing
Beige: No one knows about that doe!
Smurf: And if you want to keep it that way yous know my conditions.
Beige: By taking you under my paw I thought I was doing your mother a favour but now I can see I have created an evil genius. I am proud of you Smurfy I have taught you well.
Smurf: Yes you as Uncle Beige. Now do you want a Wispa Gold or not, they are Auntie Angie’s favourites.
Beige: OK just one then.
Smuf reaches over and opens the bottom drawer of her desk which is full of Wispa Golds, she tosses one over to Beige.
