I feel so upset today (sorry).....rabbit argument.

Hi folks.
Please dont turn this into a veggie argument as I am just not up for it today.

My daughter has always been a kind caring animal loving person - she would not hurt a fly and would cry at the thought of people eating things she would not normally consider as food.

We were watching Come Dine With Me last night and they were eating rabbit. I was quite upset (I had rotten PMT). I am not veggie but would not eat animals I keep as pets as I feel they are part of my family and I would basically feel like a cannibal.

My daughter boldly stated "I would eat rabbit - yeah course I would" and I was gob smacked. I literally hit the floor especially as my buns were present. I felt so sick and it rapidly turned into an argument.

My daughter was never like this. Her boyfriend is and often trys to be so manly and say things for "shock factor" - to get a reaction and I was upset that my daughter was saying things like that - I think she was trying to get a rise out of me and I rose so much. I felt so sick.

Did I over react. I will apologise. I had rotten PMT at the time and was struggling but I hate the change I see in ehr at times - she seems to be morphing into her fella - and losing her "sparkle and shine" that made her so very very special.

I love her dearly - but I cant understand why you would want to upset someone - why not just bite your tongue?

My sister has been watching the great british chef programme, and they seem to cook rabbit every night! And she jokes about which of my bunnies we should cook first, but she does only say it as a joke.

I know it's not nice to think of rabbit being eaten, but not so many years ago rabbit was a staple part of the british diet, far more popular than chicken or other meats as it was 'free' if you caught the rabbit yourself. And people would keep chickens,pigs etc just for meat.

PMT doesn't help in these situations! Perhaps you could apologise to your daughter, but ask her to respect your feelings in future and think before she speaks?

Thanks - I know its eaten - I have spent loads of times in Corfu where rabbits is is most meat dishes and I am always seem so grown up about it - I have to look away when in the Butchers Row in the market and I wont watch it on TV - I have to look away - my daughter knows it upsets me as she was telling me when it was OK to look at TV.

I just wonder where her compassion has gone at times.

Aww IMO this is more about the fact she's changing and like you say 'changing into her boyfriend'. She was in the wrong though if she knows how you can't watch things like that etc, she definatly should have bitten her tongue, but them again PMT (and being feircely protective of our 'babies'-rabbits) makes us have an argument so you were in the wrong too. Fair enough people have their own beliefs etc but she needs to respect how you feel.

I watched this programme too and I was a bit suprised about them eating rabbit but the guy doing the cooking did seem a bit of an idiot anyway. I find that people try to say things like this to upset me too and I just agree with them whilst thinking inside what an idiot and they tend to stop doing it. Our MD used to take pleasure in telling me how many rabbits he shot at the weekend and I used to turn around and say something like 'well the population has to be controlled' he soon stopped when he realised he wouldn't get the reaction he desired from me.

Your situataion is slightly different as it's your daughter so it sounds like she is being purposely spiteful to hurt you. Most likely the influence of the boyfriend. Young girls are often easily lead by their boyfriends or want to seem 'cool'. I'm sure she will be over it soon and on to the next fad. Try not to give her the reaction she's looking for.

Maybe your reaction (which I fully understand) was so extreme because of how you feel about your daughters bf ? So not only were you upset about your daughter saying she would eat Rabbit but also that the influence her bf has on her appears to be making her less empathetic to your feelings (whether she agrees with them or not).

Aww, try not to stress too much, I'm sure it's just an age thing (owning a couple of teens myself). I expect she did say it to shock you but perhaps didn't quite expect the reaction? The daughter you know and love is still in there, just trying a few new styles of behaviour to test your patience.

She does need to respect your feelings on the subject though. Have a chat with her and try to explain why you reacted the way you did.

Hope you manage to clear the air and feel better xx

It does sound like she said it to shock you, my sister is 16 and she knows exactly what to say to upset my mum and often does it to get her own way, or sometimes for no reason, as if she just likes to know that she can!

I don't really understand these cookery programmes using rabbit, they have little nutritional value and i think its actually bad for you to eat it. I would be devastated too as the rabbits used for meat are domestic not wild which makes it even worse.

Jack's-Jane said:

Maybe your reaction (which I fully understand) was so extreme because of how you feel about your daughters bf ? So not only were you upset about your daughter saying she would eat Rabbit but also that the influence her bf has on her appears to be making her less empathetic to your feelings (whether she agrees with them or not).

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Thats so 100% correct. Its the kind of thing he would say - not Steff.

When i lost my precious Tilly a few months ago some "friends" made comments about cooking her, putting her in a stew etx etc I just could not believe it, especially when I was clearly in absolute pieces about it. :evil: They didnt even see me for about 3 weeks after she died. In the end I snapped and said that although their comments were hilarious and original (sarcasm obv!) could they please atleast wait until their friend was ok before making a joke out of her misery. That shut them up
These are the same people who like to talk about hunting,killing and skinning rabbits, putting mine in a stew etc etc just to wind me up. I just walk away from them now, i find it SO incredibly disrespectful. And theyre not my proper friends obviously, just ppl I see out quite alot.

It sounds like (aswell as PMT which i know can be horrible and make you crazy!) you may have underlying issues with your daughters boyf. It does sound like shes changing her ways to be like him, but if shes an insecure teenager (not sure how old she is sorry!) that is understandable and she'll figure out who SHE really is in time :wave:

Gemmapookie said:

When i lost my precious Tilly a few months ago some "friends" made comments about cooking her, putting her in a stew etx etc I just could not believe it, especially when I was clearly in absolute pieces about it. :evil: They didnt even see me for about 3 weeks after she died. In the end I snapped and said that although their comments were hilarious and original (sarcasm obv!) could they please atleast wait until their friend was ok before making a joke out of her misery. That shut them up
These are the same people who like to talk about hunting,killing and skinning rabbits, putting mine in a stew etc etc just to wind me up. I just walk away from them now, i find it SO incredibly disrespectful. And theyre not my proper friends obviously, just ppl I see out quite alot.

It sounds like (aswell as PMT which i know can be horrible and make you crazy!) you may have underlying issues with your daughters boyf. It does sound like shes changing her ways to be like him, but if shes an insecure teenager (not sure how old she is sorry!) that is understandable and she'll figure out who SHE really is in time :wave:

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That's awful when we got rabbits my OH's mum kept saying 'you should have called one Stew' then laughing like it was hilarious and original :roll:

Some countries eat dogs/cats but if someone's dog/cat went to the bridge none of us would make jokes about shipping them off to China or anything like that.

NicolaTervit said:

That's awful when we got rabbits my OH's mum kept saying 'you should have called one Stew' then laughing like it was hilarious and original :roll:

Some countries eat dogs/cats but if someone's dog/cat went to the bridge none of us would make jokes about shipping them off to China or anything like that.

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I think someone on here actually has a very beloved bunny callled Stew :lol:

My daughter (who is 21) has a kitten. I asked her if she would like it if someone was eating kitten on the TV and she said if it was put in front of her she would eat it (and I KNOW my daughter so well I know she would not eat it)!!!! So I know it was an act of bravado.

Daughters dont realise until they are older how well their Mums know them - I know every facial expression and how to read her eyes.

Why is it so "cool" to be like this?

~ Cat ~ said:

I think someone on here actually has a very beloved bunny callled Stew :lol:

My daughter (who is 21) has a kitten. I asked her if she would like it if someone was eating kitten on the TV and she said if it was put in front of her she would eat it (and I KNOW my daughter so well I know she would not eat it)!!!! So I know it was an act of bravado.

Daughters dont realise until they are older how well their Mums know them - I know every facial expression and how to read her eyes.

Why is it so "cool" to be like this?

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I know :roll: I'm 21 and up until recently I would say all kinds of crazy stuff that I didnt mean just so I didnt have to back down in front of my parents. It is purely bravado. I dont really see my parents much anymore though so its simmered down a bit.

I think with me it was always an underlying issue, even when we were talking about something casual and non-related I would try and turn it into the bigger issue we were debating at the time. Here it sounds like your daughter's bf, have you ever made your feelings on him known or had arguments with her over this?

NicolaTervit said:

I know :roll: I'm 21 and up until recently I would say all kinds of crazy stuff that I didnt mean just so I didnt have to back down in front of my parents. It is purely bravado. I dont really see my parents much anymore though so its simmered down a bit.

I think with me it was always an underlying issue, even when we were talking about something casual and non-related I would try and turn it into the bigger issue we were debating at the time. Here it sounds like your daughter's bf, have you ever made your feelings on him known or had arguments with her over this?

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I have - we have fought like cat and dog over her relationship which I have now had to accept and stand back from - I love him like a Son but at times dislike the way he behaves and treats her - she has been with him for 2.5 years so its a strong relationship> I always try and bite my tongue if I think something is hurtful but Steff seems to revel in it at times x

~ Cat ~ said:

I have - we have fought like cat and dog over her relationship which I have now had to accept and stand back from - I love him like a Son but at times dislike the way he behaves and treats her - she has been with him for 2.5 years so its a strong relationship> I always try and bite my tongue if I think something is hurtful but Steff seems to revel in it at times x

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poor you. My mum always takes my OH's side, and just tells me I'm lucky to have found someone that can love somebody like me! The only thing she's ever fallen out with me over is when I moved in with him when I was 18, but she didnt want me to live with her and I didn't want to go and live with strangers in student accommodation! We have made it work though, but I am aware that I would have stuck with him regardless, and I have fought harder than I usually would, just to prove my mum wrong!

It's one of those grass is greener situations, I wish my mum would get as concerned as you do, but your daughter probably sometimes wishes you would be like my mum and just stand back! If you have a genuine issue with something he has done I definitely think you were right to say something to her, as you are only looking out for her. But relationship advice always falls on deaf ears, everybody thinks they know the answer when they don't.

I would just make out like you really don't care what she eats or doesn't eat hun. It sounds like she probably did say it to get a reaction and thats what she got And even if she was being serious its her choice really

My mum is always telling me what animals she has eaten out for dinner I think hoping for a reaction she never gets :lol: When she comes home and announces she has eaten a rabbit she gets the same response as she does when she has eaten a chicken or a pig, I just smile