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Sky-O
08-04-2010, 11:46 AM
He's had transient liver problems for 6/7 months and also has lung problems too. He is unfortunately, a stresshead, and we have only been able to intervene minimally because he can't even tolerate me holding him without stressing and mouth breathing. I'd love to be able to medicate him successfully and fight his lung problems (even though we can't solve his liver problems).

I picked him up today and he feels so frail and has clearly lost a lot of weight (its hard to tell without holding him and because I've been trying to hold him only minimally it makes it all so much harder). He is also pretty blue. He is still lively in a 'I have to stop and breathe now' sense, but he is showing less interest in food. I have a vets appointment booked for him tonight anyway because I was going to try and get him onto something more hardcore, but I don't think that is what is best for him.

Cloud is so, so precious to me, and whilst it breaks my heart so much, I do feel it may be what is best for him (actually, I do feel it is what is best for him) and that makes the decision easier.

As I type this, Badger just did the biggest binky I've seen in a long time. He shot 2ft off the floor and propelled forward a good three feet. Its such a rollercoaster here. I'm sitting here tearful about Cloud and then laughing about Badger.

If my vet does agree tonight, can we please have some peaceful passing vibes.

Sky-O
08-04-2010, 11:50 AM
Sorry, just realised the title is similar to Pearl's thread. I didn't mean to do that.

Becca
08-04-2010, 11:52 AM
:cry:.So sorry.
My thoughts are with you x

Jack's-Jane
08-04-2010, 11:53 AM
You know it is actually HARDER to not go for the intensive treatment, which for some Buns would be completely inappropriate. My Felicity is my worst stress head and there is no way on earth she could cope with the most basic nursing care. Last time she was very poorly my efforts to help her nearly killed her as she got herself into such a state she ended up having to spend a day in an oxygen tent :cry:

We all know that you will do what is right for Cloud and I will certainly be sending lots of peaceful vibes his way xx

Fairy13
08-04-2010, 11:56 AM
Sending lots of peaceful vibes. I'm really sorry, thinking of you x

sillyrabbit
08-04-2010, 11:56 AM
I am so sorry x

jubob
08-04-2010, 11:57 AM
Oh I am so sorry :cry:

Sky-O
08-04-2010, 11:59 AM
Thank you.

Jane, its so hard because I feel like in a way I've chosen Badger over him. Some of their breathing problems have been similar and I've been able to fight with Badger. Anything I do to Cloud just fights against him. I've tried to do anything that I could. He's had oral Septrin (on a basil leaf, yummy!), and he has been on increasing doses of Metacam since about the start of December.

In my mind I know I haven't chosen Badger, I have just looked at what has been best for each bunny and they are poles apart, so treatment has been so different.

Really, all I want for Cloud now is to not have a distressing passing, which he could do if I let and wait this happen naturally. I'd rather pick the time when I know he is going downhill and not let him get right to the bottom.

Normally when we go to the vets for that final journey, I carry the bunny all the way, giving lots of love and cuddles and making it 'ok'. I can't do that for Cloud, so I have to take The Dopeys because they offer him more than I ever could. I don't like taking bondmates for this and will obviously have to take a separate box (the box of death :|) for Cloud after. I also have a consecutive appointment for Hope who needs a dental, so I have to take 6 rabbits tonight (both Cloud and Hope are in trios). Its going to be a nightmare. And its not even my regular vet.

XMissySJx
08-04-2010, 12:00 PM
I'm so sorry. This forum is certainly having its wave of sad losses recently :(

I feel for you, Peanut used to hate med time, and thats what decided it for me. He stopped running towards me and running away from me when he saw me. He used to go and hide and shake , because he thought i was going to to get him :( he just hated it. Towards the end he got used to it much more, but it still wasnt fair.

Its hard when you have treatment and choose to stop it, its harder than choosing against say a big op or something, because you think "whats so bad today, that wasnt bad yesterday" and that makes it harder.

Im so sorry :( xxx

drboo
08-04-2010, 12:03 PM
Thinking of you at this time. Sending big hugs xxx

Boudicca
08-04-2010, 12:16 PM
Its not a good day on RU today :( Im sorry you too are having to make one of those awful decisions, sending peaceful vibes and hugs.

SarahP
08-04-2010, 12:18 PM
I'm so sorry you have to make this decision. :cry: I'm sure it's the right thing to do though, however hard. x

Jaki5
08-04-2010, 12:20 PM
So sorry you have to make this hard decision, but whatever you do know that it is the right thing to do for your poorly bun.
My thoughts are with you at this hard time, sending vibes for Cloud :( xx

halfpenny
08-04-2010, 12:26 PM
So sorry.

abbymarysmokey
08-04-2010, 12:31 PM
I'm so sorry...You and Cloud today will be in my thoughts today :cry:

giantbunnymummy
08-04-2010, 12:34 PM
I'm so sorry :cry:

Thinking of you and Cloud.

MPHF
08-04-2010, 12:40 PM
There's not much more to say than what everyone else has said but we are both so sorry. We know you always do the best for your buns and your judgement is always right.
So sorry :cry:

purplebumble
08-04-2010, 01:06 PM
Another black day on RU:(

i am so so sorry..youve battled along with cloud and now the battles lost.

At least being given a peaceful end is helpful to you and cloud.
when casper was at the end he went sooo fast and so peacefully it was a relief after the hard battle.

i will be thinking of you and donamnt today..and all i can offer is HUGS for you and peaceful passing vibes for cloud.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

KarenM
08-04-2010, 01:07 PM
Its not a good day on RU today :(

Very true. :cry::cry:

I'm so sorry you're faced with the awful decision. :( Huge hugs. xxx

donnamt
08-04-2010, 01:12 PM
im sorry. sending loads of vibes for your angel, i hope its peaceful and fast xxxxxx

Kermit
08-04-2010, 01:15 PM
Oh how sad.....hugs for you and noserubs for cloud xxx

Bella&Muffins mummy
08-04-2010, 01:24 PM
Thank you.

Jane, its so hard because I feel like in a way I've chosen Badger over him. Some of their breathing problems have been similar and I've been able to fight with Badger. Anything I do to Cloud just fights against him. I've tried to do anything that I could. He's had oral Septrin (on a basil leaf, yummy!), and he has been on increasing doses of Metacam since about the start of December.

In my mind I know I haven't chosen Badger, I have just looked at what has been best for each bunny and they are poles apart, so treatment has been so different.

Really, all I want for Cloud now is to not have a distressing passing, which he could do if I let and wait this happen naturally. I'd rather pick the time when I know he is going downhill and not let him get right to the bottom.

Normally when we go to the vets for that final journey, I carry the bunny all the way, giving lots of love and cuddles and making it 'ok'. I can't do that for Cloud, so I have to take The Dopeys because they offer him more than I ever could. I don't like taking bondmates for this and will obviously have to take a separate box (the box of death :|) for Cloud after. I also have a consecutive appointment for Hope who needs a dental, so I have to take 6 rabbits tonight (both Cloud and Hope are in trios). Its going to be a nightmare. And its not even my regular vet.


It's the box of peace because that is where you are taking him, to a lovely time of peace and rest (and much binkiness at the bridge)

You ARE doing the right thing and it takes a very dedicated animal mummy to do this as it's a brave decision to have to make but unfortunately we all have to do it and we do it because we love them!!! xxxxxxxxxx :roll:

Alfagirl
08-04-2010, 01:47 PM
Just wanted to say how sorry I am, and how brave you are.

Thinking of you and Cloud xx

Sky-O
08-04-2010, 01:47 PM
I'm debating now :( I hate debating!

donnamt
08-04-2010, 02:27 PM
I'm debating now :( I hate debating!

:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry: just to let you know, i had no doubt whatsoever today. almost for a second i thought pearls eating, shes going nowhere but it wasnt pearl anymore. it really is true... you know if its time.

sending loads of vibes that today isnt the day, but if it is lucky Cloud getting set free xxxxxx

yvette
08-04-2010, 02:31 PM
Oh God.
What a sad thread.Im so sorry.xxxxxx

Sky-O
08-04-2010, 02:35 PM
:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry: just to let you know, i had no doubt whatsoever today. almost for a second i thought pearls eating, shes going nowhere but it wasnt pearl anymore. it really is true... you know if its time.

sending loads of vibes that today isnt the day, but if it is lucky Cloud getting set free xxxxxx

I've been here before. I know this feeling and this place so well, unfortunately.

What I don't know is if I am cross questioning myself and its unrelated to him or if my doubts are genuine.

Its so hard to know because of the bunny he is and his behaviour.

I had doubts with all of them, and 'when it was done' I knew it had been absolutely the right decision and felt no regrets at all.

If Cloud goes tonight I don't think I will feel any regrets because he will be free. I may regret it if I keep him going for a few more days (i.e. if he dies a painful or distressing death-especially given I'm out all day tomorrow so won't be able to take him tomorrow if he needs to go), I may not.

Sky-O
08-04-2010, 03:04 PM
I've been sitting with Cloud and the Dopeys and Cloud moved about for aabout 30 seconds, then went and sat in the corner, and his normally pink ears had a blue tinge. His breath was in gasps and he was making a not good noise. He also didn't move for the rest of the time I was in there. None of this is Cloud.

I can't help but feel now that because I have been doubting and debating that people will think badly of me and that I should know 100% if its the right thing to do.

Well, I don't know 100%, all I can do is look at any given time and assess what is best for him. Right now, what is best for him is to be free. That may change again, but from what I've seen, I doubt that.

Just know that any decision I make is based on what is best for him. Yes, I'll probably get it wrong and stuff up as usual :roll: but my intentions will be to do what is best for him.

I'm sorry to you all if I fail him. He knows that I'm sorry to him already.

stargrrlclaire
08-04-2010, 03:09 PM
You wont stuff up, not ever. I firmly believe an animal's owner just knows what is right, I don't believe they can make the wrong decision.

I think you'd be right to let Cloud go, it's best to let him go with dignity and not too much pain. I hope this doesn't upset you too much, but I will agree with your decision either way. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sky-O
08-04-2010, 03:12 PM
I think you'd be right to let Cloud go, it's best to let him go with dignity and not too much pain. I hope this doesn't upset you too much, but I will agree with your decision either way. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thank you.

stargrrlclaire
08-04-2010, 03:14 PM
Thank you.

You're welcome. You know I'm here for you. I'm sending peaceful vibes. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

donnamt
08-04-2010, 03:55 PM
see what your vet thinks hunny, only you and the vet who has been treating him will know for sure :cry::cry:

no-one judges neither, we all just try head in sand and hope it never happens to us, its not judgement its fear nothing else xxxxx

louise and Gus
08-04-2010, 03:58 PM
I always think it is better to let them go a day to early than a day to late :cry::cry:

Will be thinking of youxx

Becca24
08-04-2010, 04:04 PM
So sorry to hear this and am thinking of you and Cloud. I think you will come to the right decision - I think you know already in your heart!

Sending big hug and vibes for Cloud!!

xx

BB Mommy
08-04-2010, 04:10 PM
Lots of "peaceful passing" vibes, just in case they are needed.
x

giantbunnymummy
08-04-2010, 07:01 PM
Thinking of you.

Sleep well Cloud.

donnamt
08-04-2010, 07:08 PM
im so very sorry :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:

antigone
08-04-2010, 07:12 PM
I'm so sorry:cry:

mini lop1
08-04-2010, 07:13 PM
goodnight cloud :cry:

Jack's-Jane
08-04-2010, 07:16 PM
I am sorry :cry:

Binky Free Cloud xx

Boudicca
08-04-2010, 07:19 PM
I'm so sorry :( hope yr ok sending (((hugs))) binky free Cloud x

Jenefina
08-04-2010, 07:22 PM
Binky free little man xxx

Mazda
08-04-2010, 07:40 PM
:( Im so sorry Sky-O.
Binky free Cloud. :cry:
xxxxxxxx

stargrrlclaire
08-04-2010, 07:41 PM
Aww honey, I'm so sorry for you. I know this is such a hard time.

Binky free Cloud. Have fun up there, make lots of new friends, but PLEASE look out for your old ones. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sky-O
08-04-2010, 08:31 PM
It's all ok. Everything is ok. It was perfect for him. He felt the needle, rested his chin on my arm (I was holding him with his head in the crook of my elbow, same I've been holding him since he was born) and he waited to go. It was all so, so right. I was so upset before but I'm not now. I got it right. WE got it right.

As sad as this may sound, I'm relieved. He's ok. Wherever he is now, he is ok. He is free and he is not hurting. He'll be finding Moon and Boof and will probably be having a marvellous time, free to breathe and run as he likes. The Dopeys are ok too. They will always be ok as long as they are together. In due course they will be bonded wit either Angel or Autumn, but for now they need to settle a bit.

I am going to post a Rainbow Bridge Tribute to Cloud but its going to be an epic, so may not be for a while, but it will go up.


Be Free Cloudy Boy.
17th July 2006- 8th April 2010.

poppymoon
08-04-2010, 08:32 PM
i'm so sorry:(

sleep tight cloud xxx

Fairy13
08-04-2010, 08:43 PM
I'm sorry for your loss but 'pleased' that you knew the time was right and he went peacefully. Binky free at the bridge Cloud x

helgalush
09-04-2010, 12:16 AM
I am so sorry :cry: What you have said about his passing truly has me in tears. I think you are so brave and strong.

Binky free at the Bridge little Cloud. xx

Fuzzlebug
09-04-2010, 01:58 AM
I'm so sorry. :cry:

Sleep tight Cloud. X

*lily*
09-04-2010, 07:18 AM
So very sorry.

Sleep tightly little one.

Sky-O
09-04-2010, 10:53 PM
I'm feeling very inferior and 'abnormal' and like I fail as an owner.

I feel heartless.

donnamt
09-04-2010, 10:58 PM
I'm feeling very inferior and 'abnormal' and like I fail as an owner.

I feel heartless.

:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry: why he had the perfect death you said so yourself :cry::cry::cry::cry: he was so ready and you knew it :love:

Sky-O
09-04-2010, 11:03 PM
To be honest, its because of the clear love you are showing for Pearl and how much you miss her.

You knew 100% before that it was right. I didn't.

Now, you are grieving so deeply, and its so deeply painful for you because you love her so, so much. I don't want that deep pain again, but I feel heartless for not being upset, for feeling relieved.

You are such an amazing owner. I'm comparing something uncomparable because both situations, people and bunnies are different, but I just feel inferior. If I actually step back I understand why I am as I am, but I just don't feel its ok to be like that.

That's not having a go at you or anything. Please don't be angry. You're just so amazing and loved her so much.

donnamt
09-04-2010, 11:12 PM
To be honest, its because of the clear love you are showing for Pearl and how much you miss her.

You knew 100% before that it was right. I didn't.

Now, you are grieving so deeply, and its so deeply painful for you because you love her so, so much. I don't want that deep pain again, but I feel heartless for not being upset, for feeling relieved.

You are such an amazing owner. I'm comparing something uncomparable because both situations, people and bunnies are different, but I just feel inferior. If I actually step back I understand why I am as I am, but I just don't feel its ok to be like that.

That's not having a go at you or anything. Please don't be angry. You're just so amazing and loved her so much.

im not greiving for me tho hun i get two days max of pain then im all moved on as long as i have pics alls not that bad.. im an accumplished loser really :oops::lol::lol:, im greiving for the situation, im greiving for the little soul who didnt deserve to die, the unfairness on a human hating bunny who is left behind. i did love her but she was special anyone who met her would have acted the same as me, im no different to any other bunny mummy who selfishly dont want a bunny to die *huuuggggggsssss* dont never feel inferior i could never open my heart to as many bunnies as you currently do xxx

donnamt
09-04-2010, 11:16 PM
and to add.. i didnt know for weeks before yesterday, youve seen my threads, some may say i was a day too late she had already started to leave before i took her to the vets...so if anything i missed/ignored the signs for a whole day.... my demons all for me to play with that one :(

not angry just heartbroke for you to be made to feel like you do :cry::cry:

(its the greif tho ;))

lilbun
09-04-2010, 11:57 PM
You didn't let Cloud down at all, you were there when it mattered- it's all they can ask for.
Binky free Cloud xx