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No more bunnies??

Hugo's There

Hugo's There

Wise Old Thumper
Steve came home from work last night and said thats it no more bunnies at least for a while :(

He said that he can't cope with all the deaths and illness any more and he can't handle seeing me so ill, exhausted and upset all the time.

I found out that Cherry's death affected him a lot more than I realised, but I suppose it was him that did all the travelling to get her. And I know Moses was one of his favourites. Moses was always about late at night when he got in from work and they would do a bit of bonding over Dr Who DVDs once I was in bed.

He says that he has no emotions left and that he feels nothing for the bunnies. When we get a new one he doesn't even bother to get to know it as he knows it will die in a couple of weeks :( I don't think this is 100% true as he is obviously very upset about Moses.

Steve is also the one that is with them everytime they are pts. I can't stay with them becuase I get so upset after being the one that has to make the decision to let them die. I always offer to go up to the vets with him but he says he can only handle it if he is on his own and doesn't have me to worry about too.
Its strange becuase I can deal with the bunnies easily when they are dying at home. I think it is because it is out of my hands and resposibility has been lifted so I can comfort them calmly as they pass.

I can see Steve's point of view because we were hoping for a better year than last year and so far it has been much worse :(

It would be great to take a break from more buns for a little while, but we now have 15 single bunnies despite us having our lowest total number of buns for a long time. Hopefully I can bond one or two here but I can't let the rest stay single indefinately. The whole atmosphere here has changed in recent weeks, all you see is single lonely buns staring back at you from their cages/hutches :(

Practically speaking I think he is concerned about the vets bills too as in recent weeks they have been £500 a week, and Steve doesn't earn anywhere near that amount :(

I don't know what to do for the best, but if he says no more buns then I guess I have to go along with it for now. Mind you normally if I mention a bunny to him that needs a space he says straight away - where is it, I'll go and get it :) So prehaps I just need to wait until he says that again :?
 
You two are both absolute angels who have done so much for so many unfortunate buns who would have been left to suffer otherwise. I can't imagine the emotional strain it must have had on you both. I'm sure everyone on here would respect any decision you came to regarding your sanctuary x x x
 
It's hard to know what to suggest. :( There must be points where you both question what you're doing as you deal with so much sadness, sometimes on a daily basis, and it's got to be mentally draining on you both. On top of that, you both must be phyiscally exhausted, just from the daily bunny care routine and also from the bunny runs.

Maybe Steve just needs a little break from all the bunny runs and a little time to deal with all the sad losses you've had recently. Huge hugs to you both. xx
 
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It sounds like a really sensible idea. I really don't know how you two cope with so much upset. It would be a good thing psychologically for you to have no new intakes for at least a few months or so, it does seem to be a high percentage of the new ones that drain you emotionally on their arrival.

I know it will be hard if there is a particularly sad story and maybe there will be one you want to make an exception for. The way I view it is you can only keep going emotionally long-term if you give yourself a break every now and again.

I hope you can give yourself chance to recharge your batteries. It's taken me a year from losing Izzy to give fostering a go again so I can really see why you need some time out.

Put yourselves first for a little while :)
 
LoopyLouie said:
You two are both absolute angels who have done so much for so many unfortunate buns who would have been left to suffer otherwise. I can't imagine the emotional strain it must have had on you both. I'm sure everyone on here would respect any decision you came to regarding your sanctuary x x x
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Totally agree with that.

How do YOU feel Liz?

Also, if there is anything that would help you at the moment, just shout I'm sure there are people on here that would be more than happy to.
 
Liz you have both coped with so much lately..a short break may be a good idea for you both
Concentrate on the ones you have..and give your emotions a chance to recover and also the vets bills
Sadly none of us can save every rabbit we have to think of the ones we do
If you and Steve continue as you have been and make yourselves so ill you have to give up completely then that would not help anyone
Perhaps set yourself a target of no new rabbits for two months..that could be enough for you both to feel a lot better xxx
 
I don't think the weather is helping things either.

Trying to keep the outside buns clean and fed in the cold is no fun. We can't get bunnies out to exercise a lot of time and lots of the playhouses etc are leaking from all the damp. I have bondings I want to do outside but can't because there is no dry weather at all, it seems really depressing and messy outside :(

Prehaps things will get easier as the weather improves. :)
 
Liz what both of you manage to do on a day to day basis is amazing but I can understand what Steve is saying it must be heartbreaking to loose buns so often and to see so much suffering.
Just an idea but could you focus on buns with behavioural/ psychological problems that rescues are finding difficult to rehome? Either as long term projects or as residents. Maybe even rehoming after 6 months or a year if they become calmer and more trusting. You would still be doing good work but hopefully with a bit less emotional pain
 
I am rubbish at rehoming so could never do it after having a bun for 6 months :lol:

Steve doesn't have much patience with the aggressive ones, he doesn't understand them. He actually does really well with the sick ones he just can't see it.

I did say to him that even without the bunnies I would probably be feeling just as bad, as Theo's cancer diagnosis has really thrown me. He is my absolute baby. I am still letting him sleep IN the bed with me every night so am not getting the quality sleep I need. I am also worrying now that when he goes I will miss him even more because we are spending so much time together. It is permanently on my mind :(
 
I can completely understand how Steve is feeling Liz - we lost 7 buns last year & felt devastated - so I can only begin to imagine the devastation of losing the number you have :cry: The strain on your own emotional & physical well being must be imense :cry:

When we lost Emily last year we both said we wouldn't take on another conti, because of the pain of losing Emily & Jemima in the same year (not the same situation I know) - but a couple months on we now feel able to offer a home to another conti. It's taken us that time to recover from Emily's passing, to feel strong enough to rehome another one.

I think you both take on so much & really do need to put yourselves first for a little while - give yourselves chance to recover emotionally & physically from the strain you've been under. Like you say the weather has also taken it's toil - maybe like Jill's said don't take in anymore buns for a couple months & then go from there. Hopefully in this time, you'll have chance to recover & feel more positive about things.
 
have to say my hubby has said a few times over the last 15 months that this is thankless at times and the stress is a huge price to pay
Having to turn animals away as no space, huge vet bills and as you say..looking after so many especially in poor weather ..is not easy, add to that your facing losing so many and of course it will take its toll
Have a break from extras..How about saying no more until May 1st ..by then the weather will have picked up and you both should be feeling a bit better...
I know this post repeats alot of what I said earlier, but I'm sure I'm not alone on here in thinking you and Steve MUST take it easier for a while for your own sakes xxx
 
I know how you feel Liz, but the truth is we can never save every animal. We are exhausted here too and I think because men tend to hide their feeling they get overlooked. I know Mike suffers badly when we lose somebody, and I know how tiring it is to, basically, wait for some who have terminal problems to get ill, knowing at some point you have to make a decision. With us it is the cats and goats who are our concern, we've lost many of the chickens already.

If nothing else, you have to stop and rest and recover financially, or you put the others at risk. There is nothing wrong it taking some time out and allowing youselves proper time to grieve, because you haven't had a chance lately to do this- it is needed.

I agree, the weather is wearing us down too, the only thing keeping me going at the moment is the fact that spring will come, eventually, and the days are getting longer.

You should take as long as you need, and do some things for yourself, I find we never have any real fun anymore. I remember you laughing about throwing snowballs at Steve with rabbit poo in them and feeling jealous, we never do silly things like that anymore. You need more time together ( maybe not throwing poo all the time.:lol:) and having a bit of joy.
 
i think hes right on taking a break hun, the greif you are both feeling now must be too huge to take and i really feel for you both xxxxxxx
 
Hey Liz
I can totally understand both your positions. You have lost so many, in such a short space of time, its no wonder you are BOTH emotionally exhausted. And with Theo ill as well....

I think the suggestion not to take on any more for a while is a good one. I must be really hard knowing there are needy buns out there, that you know you have the space, skills and facilities to care for, but you need to care for yourselves and eachother FIRST. Thats not easy when you are so used to being so self-sacrificing, but i think its really necessary.

Perhaps some time, just looking after the buns you have, and having time to ENJOY them, and Theo, will help you both to heal and recover.

After my Easter exams i am hoping to have some more free time so if you need a hand please let me know.

Hugo's There said:
Steve came home from work last night and said thats it no more bunnies at least for a while :(

He said that he can't cope with all the deaths and illness any more and he can't handle seeing me so ill, exhausted and upset all the time.

I found out that Cherry's death affected him a lot more than I realised, but I suppose it was him that did all the travelling to get her. And I know Moses was one of his favourites. Moses was always about late at night when he got in from work and they would do a bit of bonding over Dr Who DVDs once I was in bed.

He says that he has no emotions left and that he feels nothing for the bunnies. When we get a new one he doesn't even bother to get to know it as he knows it will die in a couple of weeks :( I don't think this is 100% true as he is obviously very upset about Moses.

Steve is also the one that is with them everytime they are pts. I can't stay with them becuase I get so upset after being the one that has to make the decision to let them die. I always offer to go up to the vets with him but he says he can only handle it if he is on his own and doesn't have me to worry about too.
Its strange becuase I can deal with the bunnies easily when they are dying at home. I think it is because it is out of my hands and resposibility has been lifted so I can comfort them calmly as they pass.

I can see Steve's point of view because we were hoping for a better year than last year and so far it has been much worse :(

It would be great to take a break from more buns for a little while, but we now have 15 single bunnies despite us having our lowest total number of buns for a long time. Hopefully I can bond one or two here but I can't let the rest stay single indefinately. The whole atmosphere here has changed in recent weeks, all you see is single lonely buns staring back at you from their cages/hutches :(

Practically speaking I think he is concerned about the vets bills too as in recent weeks they have been £500 a week, and Steve doesn't earn anywhere near that amount :(

I don't know what to do for the best, but if he says no more buns then I guess I have to go along with it for now. Mind you normally if I mention a bunny to him that needs a space he says straight away - where is it, I'll go and get it :) So prehaps I just need to wait until he says that again :?
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Getting yourselves well, both physically and mentally has to be your first priority and it sounds like you owe that to each other.

Everyone needs time to recharge their batteries and for your own well being
you need a period of calm and emotional stability otherwise you will drive yourselves into the ground. And that would be of no use whatsoever to those rabbits you are trying to give some quality of life to.

You cannot continue to sacrifice your own quality of life without there being some fallout - and that is your health. So I would do as Steve suggests, concentrate on the ones you currently have and try and find a little time for yourselves amongst all the madness.

You are right about the weather. I think it is now starting to get everyone down and a bit of sun and warmth on our skins will start to make us all feel a little more positive.

Big ((HUGS)) for you and Steve.

Gill xxx
 
Oh Liz, poor Steve and poor you, I don't know how the 2 of you cope I really don't.
Maybe the 2 of you do need a break from taking in any more buns, trust me I know how hard it is to say no, I too have tried and it hasn't worked and you feel so much guilt afterwards however there comes a point when you have to for your own sakes and for the other animals in your care.

Maybe you could try to arrange your late honeymoon again this year even if its only a couple of days i am sure it will do you the world of good and we could sort something for the buns.

Sending lots of hugs xxxxx
 
I think a break would be a good thing you you both. If you wait two months at least the weather should be a little better and things should start to look brighter for you. There is only so much emotional strain you can both take. You will still be doing an amazing job helping the bunnies you have so its not like your giving up on bunnies altogether during that break. Well done on helping all these bunnies. :)
 
Hugo's There said:
Steve came home from work last night and said thats it no more bunnies at least for a while :(

He said that he can't cope with all the deaths and illness any more and he can't handle seeing me so ill, exhausted and upset all the time.

I found out that Cherry's death affected him a lot more than I realised, but I suppose it was him that did all the travelling to get her. And I know Moses was one of his favourites. Moses was always about late at night when he got in from work and they would do a bit of bonding over Dr Who DVDs once I was in bed.

He says that he has no emotions left and that he feels nothing for the bunnies. When we get a new one he doesn't even bother to get to know it as he knows it will die in a couple of weeks :( I don't think this is 100% true as he is obviously very upset about Moses.

Steve is also the one that is with them everytime they are pts. I can't stay with them becuase I get so upset after being the one that has to make the decision to let them die. I always offer to go up to the vets with him but he says he can only handle it if he is on his own and doesn't have me to worry about too.
Its strange becuase I can deal with the bunnies easily when they are dying at home. I think it is because it is out of my hands and resposibility has been lifted so I can comfort them calmly as they pass.

I can see Steve's point of view because we were hoping for a better year than last year and so far it has been much worse :(

It would be great to take a break from more buns for a little while, but we now have 15 single bunnies despite us having our lowest total number of buns for a long time. Hopefully I can bond one or two here but I can't let the rest stay single indefinately. The whole atmosphere here has changed in recent weeks, all you see is single lonely buns staring back at you from their cages/hutches :(

Practically speaking I think he is concerned about the vets bills too as in recent weeks they have been £500 a week, and Steve doesn't earn anywhere near that amount :(

I don't know what to do for the best, but if he says no more buns then I guess I have to go along with it for now. Mind you normally if I mention a bunny to him that needs a space he says straight away - where is it, I'll go and get it :) So prehaps I just need to wait until he says that again :?
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:no: this is just my view Liz but, I can see his point, maybe if you are able to take on some healthy ones to bond to the existing ones it might cheer things up a bit and that in itself is still rescuing. I think what you do is fantastic but, there has to be a limit in terms of your quality of life aswell. You and your hubby deserve to be able to have a good life too and still make a difference but, on a smaller scale. I think when it starts to affect your health aswell then it really is a case of priorities, as much as I love animals human beings do come first. Don't take anymore other than maybe healthy ones to bond with the others and set a limit on total numbers and stick to it - otherwise you are putting too much strain on you, your partner, your finances etc and ultimately you cannot possibly save them all. What you do is so selfless that even on a smaller scale it makes a difference to those ones who are fortunate enough to find their way to you. You do have to put you and Steve first aswell though I think. It's got to be a balance IMO and hard as it to say 'no' you have too! :love:
 
I think you are right to take a break for a little while.

You both need time for yourselves and your happy little buns.

A temporary lock down will be a good thing - you are both physically and emotionally exhausted.

Recharge and let the spring air boost your flagging energies.
 
Aw Liz. :(

I have to say I can see where he's coming from too. We've recently lost our wonderful Chewy-chinchilla and it's devastated us both (so much so, this is the first time I've posted about it anywhere :cry:). We lost Betsy-chin' last year and both were a real shock as we expected to have them with us for years.

John was adamant - 'no more chins' and he really means it. I think in many ways John bonded to the chins' even more than me for some reason; it was John's hand they ate out of not mine even though I was the one to clean them out, buy their food and toys etc.

John is as soft as they come but he's really been gutted about the chins' and I can't argue with him on this one. :(

Sometimes you have to let your heart heal and just as everyone has said; take care of yourselves - otherwise you won't be any good to the buns' you care so much about.

I think what you do and what you've done is wonderful. :love:

Many ((( hugs ))) to you both xxx
 
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