What to do when 1 of a pair dies

Not sure where to post this but after losing one of my 2 buns on Sunday I am wanting to make it as easy as possible for my Pepper to get used to being alone, what kind of things should we do/give to give her company when we cant be there? And please dont say another bunny!! I couldnt do that and replace ma salt so soon

your gonna hate me, and ive got to say it..another bunny.

there is no way to prepare her or help her, she is going to be lonely. When Peanut died Jelly was so different. She was so sad. I couldnt bear to replace him so early, i wasnt ready, i hadnt grieved. But i had to put that aside, because its not about me, it was about her. As soon as she had company again, a binky happened and she flopped out, she was SO happy.

someone on here said to me "She doesnt miss him like you do. she mises company and is lonely" and i try to remember that. She didnt know him as "Peanut Butter" who we loved and miss and had a bond with, its different for them.

I know its hard.

Big hug

XMissySJx said:

your gonna hate me, and ive got to say it..another bunny.

there is no way to prepare her or help her, she is going to be lonely. When Peanut died Jelly was so different. She was so sad. I couldnt bear to replace him so early, i wasnt ready, i hadnt grieved. But i had to put that aside, because its not about me, it was about her. As soon as she had company again, a binky happened and she flopped out, she was SO happy.

someone on here said to me "She doesnt miss him like you do. she mises company and is lonely" and i try to remember that. She didnt know him as "Peanut Butter" who we loved and miss and had a bond with, its different for them.

I know its hard.

Big hug

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lol just the answer I didnt want to hear thanks though for it, and I totally see where you are coming from about getting another bunny...but......heres where I am selfish and horrid......I have only had 1 bunny when I was about 12 and he died after 3 years but was in an op so I never got to see him for a last time but I was GUTTED, and after finding Salt on Sunday the way I did, it was so heartbreaking that I am dreading the time it happens to pepper....so selfishly and horribly I dont want another one because its horrid to know itll happen to Pepper at some point and I couldnt handle knowing what its going to feel with, with each pet I get. (I know it will obviously, but didnt realise just how upset Id feel) So, with just Pepper Ill only have to know how it feels once more,....if you know what I mean? Coz after pepper I dont think well get anymore. It'd be amazing if she is still here in 10 years

I know folk will probably disagree but unfortunately you can't help how you feel and we all react/grieve differently

XMissySJx said:

your gonna hate me, and ive got to say it..another bunny.

there is no way to prepare her or help her, she is going to be lonely. When Peanut died Jelly was so different. She was so sad. I couldnt bear to replace him so early, i wasnt ready, i hadnt grieved. But i had to put that aside, because its not about me, it was about her. As soon as she had company again, a binky happened and she flopped out, she was SO happy.

someone on here said to me "She doesnt miss him like you do. she mises company and is lonely" and i try to remember that. She didnt know him as "Peanut Butter" who we loved and miss and had a bond with, its different for them.

I know its hard.

Big hug

Click to expand...

I agree. When we lost out first bunny I was so upset and could see that "Baby" was missing company and she was sitting and rocking. I went to get some food from the local farm for her and saw a little bunny that was the same colour as the one we had just lost, I put my hand to the cage and he licked me .

I was still distraught and rang the vet to see if it was too soon to get Baby a new partner (it had only been a week), she said "it is not Baby I am worried about it is you! She will be fine". I went back and got the little bunny and sent my husband and email saying "Homer is home" - never regretted it for a minute.

I am so sorry for your loss.

We cross posted - I know where you are coming from as I have said no more when anything happens as it hurts so much when you lose them.

I'm sorry for your loss but it isn't fair to make her suffer because you don't want another rabbit.

I do understand your situation, I lost Floss soon after she was bonded with Inky and I wasn't sure I was ready. However, I got a phone cal the next day from the rescue to say that they had just lost one of a bonded pair and had a female rabbit who needed a new home and husbun. It was like fate really because Inky and Smokey fell in love at first sight.

I still miss Floss, she was such a peaceful bunny and I still feel guilty about the way that she passed away. Just because you stop grieving doesn't mean that you don't still love them.

my plan when pearl dies in the very near future is to get Alvin hooked up with his next wifebun asap. hes not a human fan and he totally adores pearl.. im worried if i leave him to pine for her he will die too

im sorry you lost your bunny xxxxx

donnamt said:

my plan when pearl dies in the very near future is to get Alvin hooked up with his next wifebun asap. hes not a human fan and he totally adores pearl.. im worried if i leave him to pine for her he will die too

im sorry you lost your bunny xxxxx

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im a firm believer that a happy pet holds on and fights for life, sad pets give up. it sounds silly, but Jelly perked up as soon as she saw her pals today after her dental, and they were grooming her it was lovely to see. she had something to be happy for.

so i agree with what you mean 100%. I dont think he would die from pining, but i believe if something happened he wouldnt fight......like he would now.

XMissySJx said:

im a firm believer that a happy pet holds on and fights for life, sad pets give up. it sounds silly, but Jelly perked up as soon as she saw her pals today after her dental, and they were grooming her it was lovely to see. she had something to be happy for.

so i agree with what you mean 100%. I dont think he would die from pining, but i believe if something happened he wouldnt fight......like he would now.

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Stasis.. im sure hed get stasis and that would be it.. if he was more heatlhy maybe id leave it a few weeks to give him chance to get over her, but i cant take that chance with my Alvin.

i did wonder the other day what i would do if Alvin died, i would obviously have to talk to Lou, but i dont think pearls heart is up to a new bond and she adores her bunnyman too

Thats the thing, i dont think they need to get over them, i think they miss them, but its not pain like we experience, we miss THEM, they just miss company.

I remember resenting Jelly a little bit for that, because she looked sad, and then when i re bonded her she was so happy i felt like she had forgotten him. And she had. And it took me a while to realise that was okay.

it also depends on if Lou is brave enough to bond alvin again :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

donnamt said:

it also depends on if Lou is brave enough to bond alvin again :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

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well yes...........




that is a very good point!:lol:

so sad

Sorry this is long.
When Bunster died a few weeks ago we were devastated, because he was such a lovely bun, mischievous and loving. Buffy, his widow went very quiet and subdued - she was quiet before, but this was different. They had groomed each other every few minutes ever since they'd been together, and she used to watch out for him if the cat went into the 'rabbit garden' (she is big, and the cat is scared of her).
Much as we weren't ready for another bun, it just had to be done. But like you, we didn't want to commit to having buns forever because we aren't getting any younger ourselves and our children are not children any more (that bit probably doesn't apply to you - you are probably young, single and glamourous)...
... and so instead of a baby bun we found Buffy a 'senior' husbun from a rescue. Sausage is 5, the same age as Buffy, a widower, also lonely, and they bonded instantly. Two big, calm, gentle bunnies together. They groom each other, potter around their garden together, keep each other warm in their haybed, and are easier to look after than one because they are happy. In the wild rabbits are used to death because it happens often (they are hunted, not hunters), but they are also used to company and NEED it for security.
You miss your bun because you loved him, having brought you joy. Saying no to more joy because of the fear of loss is understandable, but ultimately can become a life-limiter. After all, on that basis we might never start doing all sorts of joyous things.
Sausage isn't Bunster, but he has a personality (bunnality) all of his own, and we are getting fond of him already. Buffy is a blissful bunny again.
Only you can decide, and plenty of people take on pets without thinking it through, so well done you for not going blindly ahead into it.
Good luck whatever you decide.

Is Pepper an outdoor bun? If you decide not to get another partner you could consider bringing Pepper in for your company.

Personally though if the rabbit was still young i.e. under 5, I would probably succumb and get a new partner.

I agree if she is outside she will be really lonely and sad and much happier inside with your company.

XMissySJx said:

im a firm believer that a happy pet holds on and fights for life, sad pets give up. it sounds silly, but Jelly perked up as soon as she saw her pals today after her dental, and they were grooming her it was lovely to see. she had something to be happy for.

so i agree with what you mean 100%. I dont think he would die from pining, but i believe if something happened he wouldnt fight......like he would now.

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All of my housebunnies have been single apart from Barley & Dill & the bond I had with Will was intense.She was like my best friend.She had an abscess but was too old to have anything done with it.Our bond got more & more dependent on each other until she woke up one day & decided to act like a baby-her way of showing me she didn't want to die.I took her back to the vet who agreed she was trying to tell us something & so we put her through surgery.She would have died within weeks if not.She lived another4 months after.Our bond was so strong that if we went away for one night in that last year she would start to go down hill.
What im trying to say is if your bun is a housebunny you can develop a relationship so intense that they will fight to keep living for you.I personally dont want a relationship so strong as it was heart breaking at the end which is one of the reasons I got a friend for B but if you dont get a new friend for your bun he will keep going & keep fighting for life, when ill,for you because he will love you so much.

please please please get Pepper a new partner...

When Oscar lost his wife, he was like a bun I have never seen... reserved, quite and didn't want to come out to run around anymore. The day I bought his new girlfriend home, he was doing the biggest binkies ever in the garden, becuase he could smell there was a new girl around It was the happiest I had seen him since he lost his previous partner.

Honestly, I know you are grieving, and I am sorry about that... but you have to think about Pepper, don't hold company back for him because he is pining for company himself. Its what he needs and I'm positive it won't be a decision you will regret.

I think it's too soon for you to be thinking things through clearly, you're still grieving (and Pepper is too)! Give it a little bit of time and then think through what is best for Pepper and you.

I'm sure it feels very raw at the moment and you can't even think of looking at another bunny because it would be like you were "replacing" Salt. Trust me when I say that you'll feel differently with time. All bunnies are different, and if you decide to get another they won't be a replacement, they will be a different rabbit. I lost 2 of my indoor bunnies in 2 months and I still miss them terribly, but we are fostering a new rabbit now who we hope will bond into that group - we don't see him as a replacement though, he's just a new bunny.