• Forum/Server Upgrade If you are reading this you have made it to the upgraded forum. Posts made on the old forum after 26th October 2023 have not been transfered. Everything else should be here. If you find any issues please let us know.

is there treatment for separation anxiety?

biscandmatt1

Wise Old Thumper
i'm so exhausted from it now and it is getting worse. :(

i constantly worry about the pets...mainly the buns. i can't sleep because i am panicking about losing them or something happening to them.

i sleep on the settee in the lounge to be near them. i did this at first because they were ill but now i can't not do it. if i go upstairs i get very stressed and upset and end up coming back down. i need to be near them all the time. now it has been about 6 months i have been sleeping here.

i feel like if i am on the settee then if someone tries to break in i will be there and if there is a problem or a fire or something then i will be here for them to protect them.

i just think about losing them all the time and try to prepare myself and i just sit and burst into tears because the fear of losing them overwhelms me. :cry:

i'm having panic attacks more often now and i constantly worry because i feel like if i relax and try and be happy or ok, then something will happen to teach me a lesson. :(

i only leave the house to go to the vets with them, or asda which i go once a week if i can. but i hate going and leaving them. if anything happened and i wasn't there i would never forgive myself.

like now....my bf is out so i will wait for him to get home before i go upstairs to have a shower. i need someone with them all the time.

it's just overwhelming me now and i can't take the constant panic attacks, crying and everything else.

bf tried to help and we said we should go for walks and build up the time away from them....but i was a mess and we got to the end of the road and i was hysterically crying and shaking. :(

sorry for going on, i want to go and see the doctor but i don't want to go out if i don't have to leave them. :( but i know i need to see him. he has treated me for all my other mental health stuff for the last ten years so he knows me.

my bf is going home for xmas and i am spending it alone in the house because i can't leave the pets to go round to my mum and dads.

it's getting so difficult now :(

sorry, just struggling. :cry:

eta - what made it worse was when even the vet noticed i had it aswell. :(
 
Hello :wave: I don't know a way to deal with it I'm afraid, I just wanted to let you know you're not alone in case that helps at all. I get so stressed about the buns that often on my way home from work I get convinced I will get back to find them both dead and I have to stop to be sick. (it's a good job I work in a remote area!) And I never get any sleep cos each time I hear one of them move, I have to get up and check they're ok!


I guess I'm lucky in that I have to go to work every day, or I would lose my house and hence the rabbits. That focuses my mind on the reason I have to leave them, and stops the fear from completely taking over.

You say you've tried the concept of starting with a small amount of time and building up - could you try this again but start really, really really, small, and work from there? Like your first target could be to take a shower when there's no one else in, then to spend 10 mins in the garden, then to spend 10 mins walking a little way down the street and back...

Your bunnies are so lucky to have a mum who cares so much about their welfare, but obviously it would be great if that could be balanced with taking care of yourself. Something I do when I have recurrent destructive thoughts (be they irrational or not) is to write down what I *should* be thinking, and I carry that list around with me and read it when I need to, to help me focus and clear my mind of the negative thoughts.

I don't know if that made any sense at all or if I've just been blathering nonsense. But the main thing is that I do know how you're feeling (to some extent) and hope you have some success in reducing it. x
 
my stomach constantly churns over these pair. Ste is away from tomorrow and for a week ive not slept right and i keep hearing the burgulars..

all i can say is you have to force yourself hun, you have to start going back to bed no matter how hard it is at the start and your o/h is right you need to leave the house.

the more you put yourself through that hell the easier it gets, it was awful going back to work after them burgulars had threatened to come back, the fear of my buns being home alone was unbearable, but i knew i couldnt let it get to the stage of never leaving the house, its no way to live.

as for the fear of finding them dead, i make bets with myself which one will go first and im actually scared to look in the room each morning, again its something that has to be done.... 1 hour at a time hun thats all you need to do.. each hour will stretch to a few and it will get easier

but even if you cant face out you HAVE to start going to bed before your too much of a wreck to do anything xxxx
 
don't blame yourself for worrying - anyone who knows anything about rabbits worries! personally, i've never worried as much about any pets before, and i wouldn't be worrying so much now if i didn't come here - a little knowledge sets me off! but, my bunnies have better lives because i care and because i'm better-informed.

you've identfied your worry about your bunnies as a cause for concern, though, and that shows you think you need to do something about it. well done, you! your bf had sensible ideas, too. can someone sit with the bunnies while you go to your doctor? could your mum and dad?

i really feel for you. i had hypnotherapy a while ago to help me deal with a terrible situation i have to live with (lol! that sets off the imagination! actually, its my work, my workplace, they are from hell but i need the money!) and although its a bit of a 'blunt instrument', i found it helpful. perhaps there's something that can be done to help you cope with bunny-anxiety. the key thing is to make time when you can talk to someone about it.

do speak to the gp about it. this amount of anxiety is too much to bear alone. (((biscandmatt1)))
 
Last edited:
You need someone to come to you and help you like your boyfriend was doing. But he loves you and doesn't want to see you like that, so he'll let you go home. You need someone to take you to the end of the road and make you stay there until you're calm.

I kinda know how you feel but I've never been as bad. I manage to fight it and you can, but you just need a little help. Is there someone you can ring who can come to your house? Would your doctor do it if you spoke to him/her on the phone first an explained how you were feeling?

Mental illnesses suck. :?

By the way, how many pets do you have?
 
I can sympathise and my answer is pretty much as others have already said.

I guess I'm lucky in that I have to go to work every day, or I would lose my house and hence the rabbits. That focuses my mind on the reason I have to leave them, and stops the fear from completely taking over.

The above sums up my situation, if I didn't have to go out, I wouldn't. I've really struggled to take on a second part-time job as I don't want to leave the buns especially as they have had so many stasis/bloat episodes between them over the last year, it's so hard to leave them. I deliberately chose a job that was only four hours a day because leaving them all day is a real struggle (impossible for me to do on a regular basis). The job is also flexible as to which four hours (enabling me to rush them to the vets in the morning if I need to). ALL the planning is about the bunnies.

Last year I lost Bungee bun (just found her dead) on 10 February and then 9 weeks later on 17 April Scrat (who I was really, really close to) had a not well episode and died within 24 hours. I started sleeping downstairs because I couldn't bear to be upstairs without Scratty being there and because I needed to be near my other two bunnies (Art and Esme) to 'make sure'. A two seater settee ain't great for weeks on end :? Esme was only 10 - 30 weeks old during that time and was very noisy at about 5.00 am, so my sleep was completely shot. I did this for about 3 - 4 months and then told myself I had to start sleeping on a proper bed (my back was agony by then), I forced myself to go back upstairs, it was really difficult at first. I moved into a different bedroom because the reminders were too much for me - every time I heard the slightest noise in the night I thought I needed to check on Scrat and then realised ... I didn't need to :cry::cry:

I think your situation is the same in that it's for genuine reasons that you are concerned - they have been quite poorly, you're not out of proportion with your concern, just perhaps, with your response to that concern. You've identified and talked about the issue, you've made the first step.

I hope you find the answer, it won't be easy but it is achievable.
 
thank you everyone.

i have just had mental health problems since age 13 and it has been so hard to get to here....and find something that makes life worth it....i found that in the pets...so now my mind has latched onto that i cannot lose them.

i don't know.... the doctor knows what i'm like....he has treated me for ten years, i used to see him alot, counsellors, cbt, that stupid woman at the priory in cheshire. hated her... :evil:

anyway, i finally got other things under control with the cbt counsellor i saw a couple of years back. we just clicked straight away and i knew i could trust her. she helped me more than everyone else put together...her and the doctor.

she said i can go back to see her but i feel like i am wasting the time that could be used for other people...because it isn't like i go out anyway...even without this fear...because i have body dismorphic disorder aswell and i don't like to be seen.... so asda once a week is a massive achievement for me...and i went to the theatre the other week with my mum...that was a massive thing for me... anyway, just don't want to waste peoples time... and the thought of getting to the cbt hospital place makes me feel sick...

if i can't look after the pets then bf does, if he can't my brother comes round and minds them. i wouldn't trust anyone else with them.

anyway, i will have to get to the doctors. from the past i know when things are going to spiral out of control... and if i ignore it i will get worse.

stupid mental health. :evil:

thanks for sharing things with me... i know how hard dealing with all this is.

i was hoping there will be some tablets i can take along side mine now. i need ones that calm me down.... but not to the point where i am a zombie like last time. i've been scared of asking for any help with tablets etc since the anti-pyschotic ones i went on... they made me so ill... i was just dead inside... and i didn't feel anything... :( and i put on so much weight... :evil:

right, doctors soon then.... just try and remember he knows me and i am not wasting his time. dan is here until just before xmas so hopefully i can get an appointment before then, and my mum will drive me there aswell.

sorry, going on... but thank you everyone... xxx
 
awww good luck hun, noone could blame you for how your feeling them pair of bunnies would make a mess out of anyone with the long battle of illness theyve had.

but you know you can get them through that, theres absolutely no reason why they would even think of giving up and leaving you now xxxx
 
awww good luck hun, noone could blame you for how your feeling them pair of bunnies would make a mess out of anyone with the long battle of illness theyve had.

but you know you can get them through that, theres absolutely no reason why they would even think of giving up and leaving you now xxxx

thanks. they are doing so well now ... maybe that is making me more suspicious! not used to it! i am hopeful they are going to be ok now ... but one day i will lose them ... anyway, doctors soon hopefully and see where i go from here! oh the joys of mental health x
 
I would remove a couple of worries. I would buy three additional smoke detectors and get them up, which would give you an early warming in case of a fire. Its been proven that one does often not wake you. Installing a burglar alarm is expensive, but you can buy portable intruder alarms. If you bought a couple of these and put these up (obviously not near the bunnies), you would get a warning if someone broke in.

http://www.personalalarms.com/store/erol.html#1X0
 
he knows me and i am not wasting his time.

Remember this! You have a problem and it's his job to help. He wants to help.

Mental health illnesses are awful because there's nothing physically to see. It's easy for other people to think that nothings wrong and it's easy for you to try and dismiss it.

You have to remember, it's an illness. People with diabetes have pills or injections for it. They treat it and try to keep it under control and they're not ashamed to say it. We shouldn't be either. We take pills, we talk to people and we try to keep it under control. Sometimes things get bad and it's a fight to gain control again, but that's why there are people like doctors to help us.

So do it for yourself, do it for your mum and your boyfriend and do it for your pets. :)

sorry, someone asked how many pets... i have four, two buns and two piggies. x

That was me. Wanna come over to mine for Christmas? :D
 
My heart goes out to all the bunny mummies on this thread. I've no advice - just a big hug to you all.
Well done Biscandmatt1 for recognizing your problem and taking steps to do something about it. :thumb: Remember that I'm still here.
 
Remember this! You have a problem and it's his job to help. He wants to help.

Mental health illnesses are awful because there's nothing physically to see. It's easy for other people to think that nothings wrong and it's easy for you to try and dismiss it.

You have to remember, it's an illness. People with diabetes have pills or injections for it. They treat it and try to keep it under control and they're not ashamed to say it. We shouldn't be either. We take pills, we talk to people and we try to keep it under control. Sometimes things get bad and it's a fight to gain control again, but that's why there are people like doctors to help us.

So do it for yourself, do it for your mum and your boyfriend and do it for your pets. :)



That was me. Wanna come over to mine for Christmas? :D

aw, that's nice.... but i will be ok... mum and dad are going to come over for a few hours... and bf is phoning. will be ok. can't be moving the pets around either. i think i would take them to my mum and dads for the day if they weren't recovering from illnesses.
 
it's really sad how many people go through feeling this way. i think 'mental' is the new 'normal'! ;)

mind you, people ask me how i cope etc but i kind of don't remember a time where i felt ok... because i am just used to this now. and people think i am bad now... but i am so much better considering what i was like! :shock: so i am actually proud to be at this point now... leaving the house only once... because nobody thought i would be here so anything now is better than the past.

hugs to everyone who feels like this. it is awful... xxx
 
Back
Top