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killing her with kindness and stress

purplebumble

Warren Veteran
:( i have had my mums housebunny as a houseguest since last wed when i picked her up after shed been hospitalised AGAIN with gas filled tummy and needed fluids.metaclop and pain killers.

the time before was 1st oct......

my mum got nagged by me and the vet to change her diet treatwise.

i bought her some excel dried herbs in a bag and mum also had some dandelion treat from wilkinsons.

mums always given her bunny a bit of hard wheolemal toast every morning since she had her...but she used to give her choccy drops...carrots sticks....those treats that make the cage smell nicer:shock: and baby leaf salad.

we put it down to dietary probs....

but shes also barbered herself a few times.....

i told my mum to cut out this and the vet said a tiny smidgen piece of toast in the morning was ok...but the dried herbs would have been better.

this time my mum gave ehr bunny grass cos she was told by a vet nurse last time in a very grumpy way that she should only have veggies grass and pellets with hay....and told my mum she had to feed her grass....:shock: well after the last time she did..in one day!

sigh....i also think my mums stressing her bunny out as much as she is me..its so hard soemtimes...its been 3 years since dad died and i cant cope anymore:cry: her bunny has been great company for her and her bun adores her.

i am so scared.....i dont think my mum has been fully truthful with me as she feels her bunny should get spoilt...but i told her not with food....
Now shes saying again..it can still give her her toast right....and her carrot treat and cushion treat for smelly cages everyday and apple and grape a few times a week right? it slike shes not listening....

i stopped all her treats....also the amount of dried dandelion she was consuming in the dried herbs and dandelion treat stuff were so high she peed likea horse and stunk the place out..not one whiff since shes been ehre and in fact i only cleaned all the entire tray out today...4days later!! the wet bits she had been sneakily doing in the cats bean bag:shock::oops::lol:

shes eating loads hay....she isnt digging her litter tray out....shes learnt how to be a mountain goat in my bedroom thanks to her being so lcose with the cats....

but i worry my mum is either killing her with kindness or stressing her out so much she gets mild stasis to the human eye and then gets hugely bloated with gas. infacol doesnt shift it either!

ive been panacuring her again whilst shes been here..she can go home thursday.

sigh..my mum aodres her but how do i get thru to her that she doesnt have to go bed ealry as her bunny doesnt like her watching tv after 9.30m as thats when she asks to go to bed in her cage.....that just cos shes sititng by a her reed mat where my mum gives her treats..she isnt actually expecting more..shes just seeing f theres any bits left around.

she digs out her tray cos mum cleans the whole thing out and sorts out her cage at least once a day and her bunny hates things being moved etc. the litter tray round me mums i can vouch for stunk was soaking wet and full of poo too....

BUT it was the huge volumes of wee ontop of the poopns causing the smell and the fact my mum wasnt using much cat litter as she said it was being watsed by being dig out so she left a lot of russell rabbit in there.

here its lots of cat litter...russell rabbit..and her hay over the edge..she hates it in her tray like merlin does....but my mum never has noticed it before.
so its why she digs the tray out in the vening cos she knows mums coming to destroy all her hard work.

yes i know keeping her clean is good..but sometimes a bunny gets stressed and needs reassurances her cage and tray and bed are hers and smell enough of her.

ive warned my mum if she doesnt listen to me and doesnt do something about her stressing and arguing iwth family down the phone etc.....her bunny will die before christmas...harsh but true.

hunnybunny has still got huge bald psots from barbering but the fur is slowly reappearing.

mum was moaning saying she saw 4 buns on the tv and they were eating huge bowls of fruit n veg.....aargh..theyre used to it!!

mums 79 and she was doing very well with hunnybunny until her frst obut of stasis and its a common repeat with her.

i told mum to ban all screaming brats....brats who wont leave hunnybunnys toys alone....and epople who shout or sit n cry and yell at mum.

i got room to talk..mum depressed me so much down the phone last night i was suicidal...and both me nikki and bif have got gut pain and uspet stomachs from yesterdays phone call to me.

any ideas.......i will never forgive myself if she gets gas and stasis again so fast...she might not be so lucky next time:(

my mum has her for company and theyre devoted to her but mum has such a regimental regime with her life..it affects others..inc her bunny so i have broken her of habits only for my mum to do it all over again.

kiling her with kindness.....like i am with bif......but for diferent reasons and circumstances...bif eats too much of berties food even tho i reduced it...and she is too scared to move from berties side or her tray.....as she was a starved rabbit shes always eaten like every meal is her last:( getting a balance is hard and bifs gut probs are mainly from stress and being a dental bun due to misaligned jaw.

but treats....only happen when yukky medications been given...a bit of mint leaf...a wagg carrot stick treat..or a weeny bit of carrot.

theyre not a daily esp several times daily event!!!

sigh....
 
Oh, I really feel for you. What a horrible position to be in.

Firstly though, well done for doing such a great job with hunnbunny and setting her on the right path.

I've come across similar things with rabbits we have rehomed; essentially they are over loved, and facing death because of it (Summer, whom I adopted was hugely over loved, when she came all she ate was mint and carrot and was the size of a beachball).

Do you think if you made a routine for your mum, i.e. this food at X time, this at Y time, clean on Z day of the week, she might follow it?

Another option is the route I've had to take with our adopters, and that is brutal honesty. That's definitely hard when it's your mum, but she needs to understand that if she carries on as she is, then he will die (or for brutal honesty, she will kill him) with how she treats him. Essentially, as harsh as it sounds, she may be loving her, but its a form of neglect because her needs are not getting met.

Could you maybe keep the bun and have your mum round to learn how to look after her and maybe work with her to teach her how to look after the bun, and sort of make a transition between her home and yours, while she learns?

I do feel for you, so much, and I'm sorry its making you feel so low. My PM box is open if you do want to chat.

Hang in there.
 
Do you think if you made a routine for your mum, i.e. this food at X time, this at Y time, clean on Z day of the week, she might follow it?

I had the same idea, except I thought maybe a menu of things she should feed her bunny (with strict instructions to not feed anything that wasnt on the list!!). This could include a 'treat' a day so your mum can see she's not being mean - one grape or three sultanas, that kind of thing.

It's very hard to get people to understand that 'being nice' isnt the same as 'taking good care'. Good luck :)
 
Thank you all for your advice and support.
sadly i have made a schedule/menu..and she was sticking to it..or said she was.

Tonight i have told her straight..go back to the way you were fedding her and she will die before xmas.
I hope it was brutal enough. Problem is shes gets relatives neighbiurs etc who say its cos her bunny is a house bun and neutered and vaccinated...their buny who lived forver and was never ever ill one day in its life wasnt. grrrrrrrrr

well me mums pretty ill with a serious bladder infection so its lucky i already have hunnybunny with me. Also my ex half sis n law is coming to visit my mum and we think the stress would freak hunybunny out..esp as this wonderful lovely lady has cancer in her head and ribs etc and is coming to say goodbye to my mum we think as its been leaked she has less than a year to live.
Bunnies pick up on things so easy.....its going to be a tuff day.

so i told me mum she can have her back thursday evening or friday morn even...if she doesnt have an accident in the meantime! since ebing with me shes spent wayyyy too much time with the two dimwitted but norty cats and is climbing like a mountain goat.....jumping onto the windowsill and standing on her hind legs patting the riandrops with the cats..the riandrops are on the outside!!:shock::lol:
she tried to follow salems short cut across the slippery narrow legde of the computer hutch desk!! shes a nutter!!

shes bored and wants to go home....ive got her pooping piles tonight....and eating lots of hay....shes been chasing our female cat as she wants salem all to herself for a snuggle AGAIN.
shes a right moo....has got hay on the flor in heaps and pooped in it randomly to tell zuzu..mine!! shes pooped atop her cat carrier and the cats sleeping spot atop two huge plastic boxes!!! shes grinning from floppy ear to floppy ear:lol::lol:

sleep deprivation via miss nutty brained bunny is forcing me to be rather ill with epileptic attacks..but i get those daily anyway...and getting over there before 9am every morning to give her the panacur dose...would finish me off!!

i will draw up a plan anyway for my mum.....just in case. fingers crossed.
 
she sounds a right character :lol: Hope your mum is feeling better soon too - one thing after another for you isn't it? :(
 
a suggestion, if your mum wants to spoil her, could you steer her into spoiling her with toys and a nice blanket and cardboard box and plenty of stroking and get a little brush etc, my rabbits love having a small blanket or piece of sheet which they chew, they move about, they toss in the air and this will also keep your mum entertained!
 
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