how do you come to terms with long term bunny illness?

im really struggling at the moment, every time Pearl makes a snorting noise i wonder if its her lungs filled up with water already. we fight daily over the drugs she hates. but amazingly she doesnt realise shes got a poorly heart . as evil as this sounds im struggling to be in the same room as her right now as i just end up in tears thinking about the whatifs of tomorrow. i really beleived Alvin would go first with his tummy but now i know its pearls time thats limited im struggling because how will i manage to find Alvin a better/equal wifebun to pearl, hes not the easiest rabbit to pair up

is this unnatural/shallow to be saying goodbye to her before shes even starting to show shes really poorly???

sorry everyone who has actually lost a bun this week/month, but im tired today and it always makes me feel a bit pants about the future.

we are due to go to scotland for xmas, what if she dies because of the journey, itd be my fault boarding is a deffo no Alvin was demonic after the last time for well over a month im not sure her heart could take all that humping :?

how do you put the thoughts out of your head everyone, i think i prefered being stressed over the burgulars coming back to this!!! its almost been 4 weeks now and each day seems to get harder instead of me reaching an acceptance :evil::evil:

I sort of know what you mean, but not with Charlie.
Our Diggor is 17 now and a bit ill, and I basically live in constant fear.

I didn't see your thread where you found out what was wrong with Pearl, but I hope that the drugs she has now do their job for a lovely long time to come and keep her happy

Oh hun I have no advice but want you to know we're thinking of you and Pearl xXx

Thinking of you. xxx

I am struggling a little with Snowdrop. I know her illness is no-wher enear as severe as Pearls but just knowing that their time with you is limited is upsetting. It makes it worse that we still dont have an actual diagnosis and she isnt on any meds so it feels like im doing nothing to help her.

I've done this twice, with Summer (who had cancer) and with Sweep (who had some sort of abdominal lump but at 9 I decided it was not right to put him through invasive procedures).

What I found really helped was to take lots of videos and pictures and to absolutely make each day completely amazing. When you know they are ill and terminally so, you know that things like the perfect diet are not so important as happiness, for example.

Summer and Sweep got the best runs, the best food, the best company, a lot of toys and stimulation, things like that. A step up from the 'normal' spoilt bunny lives that mine have, and a level of care I could not keep up indefinitely.

It's important to try and focus on every day because otherwise you spend the time worrying about what might be and missing what is.

I found that the part you are dealing with is the hardest. I used to get panic attacks and nightmares about whether I would 'get it right' or miss the signs, or somehow lead them to suffer by missing the right time. I also used to get tearful about losing them.

It's ok to grieve for her right now, because you are losing her, and its normal and healthy to feel grief. She won't know you are grieving because she is perfectly happy.

I found that 'once it was over' it was both amazing and incredibly painful. That sounds like an odd thing to say, but when you get it right and when you know you have absolutely made your bunny as happy as larry, then you just feel that you've done the right thing, and its a weird sort of inner peace (I guess this is the part where you are thinking about the bun). But obviously its incredibly painful because you've just lost someone you love deeply and who your life revolved around while she was ill (and this is the bit where you are taking care of your own emotions and looking after them).

My only advice is to trust yourself, and to consider at any given time 'what is best for her' (which I know you are doing), and as long as you are doing that, whilst it won't be always comfortable for you, it will be amazing for her.

But lots of videos and lots of pictures.

These are the two videos I made for mine when I knew they were going. Maybe it might help give you something, although I'm not sure what. Hope maybe? (there are others of Sweep on my youtube account, and also of Summer too).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJb_4Fu7y7U

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=FXQ61WZU

Sky-O said:

It's important to try and focus on every day because otherwise you spend the time worrying about what might be and missing what is.

I found that the part you are dealing with is the hardest. I used to get panic attacks and nightmares about whether I would 'get it right' or miss the signs, or somehow lead them to suffer by missing the right time. I also used to get tearful about losing them.

It's ok to grieve for her right now, because you are losing her, and its normal and healthy to feel grief. She won't know you are grieving because she is perfectly happy.

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thankyou. all of these 3 sum up how it is right now. im missing the now because i cant bear her being ill

ive actually forgotton what sleep is and if Ste hasnt checked them after work (he gets in first) im scared to go upstairs just incase

and yup i think i am greveing even tho shes still here

and the inner peace you felt after yours passed, i felt this with my dad.. hed been ill for so long it was a relief when he went but not in a selfish way, a sort of glad for him it was finally over, but i dont want Pearl to go like my dad did, it was awful same illness two family members.. life is pretty cruel i think :evil:

selfish sod i am.. all me me me Pearl as you say is happy and has no idea shes poorly and i really need to sort myself out and focus on that

your first video is brilliant too

donnamt said:

is this unnatural/shallow to be saying goodbye to her before shes even starting to show shes really poorly???

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I don't know, but if it is, then I am too - with Poppy and Sorrel, when I knew they were ill, I sort of kept imagining how I'd feel if they passed, and what it would be like without them....then I felt awful cos I thoguht I'd made them die by thinking about it But I think maybe it's just people's natural way of preparing themselves for a loss. I thought about their partners too and whether I would be able to cope with getting them new partners, etc, so you're not alone there either.

Even before Sorrel got her respiratory infection, because of the abcess and her dental probs, whenever I looked at her I would feel panic and fear at the thought of imminently losing my best friend. I know what you mean about not wanting to be in the same room cos I went through that too. It crossed my mind sometimes that due to her problems, when she went it would probably be by PTS, and the thought would make me throw up. But after a while, I realised I wasn't being fair to her, and was wasting the limited time we had together, and although those feelings were still at the back of my mind, I managed to concentrate on appreciating the time we had together and just making sure she knew how loved she was, and making sure that time she still had with us was really enjoyable.

That probably wasn't the most coherent post ever but I hope it helps in some way.....there is no easy answer though big hugs x

Awww hun, I think everything you are feeling is completely normal, and you are not being selfish you can't help how you are feeling. I know you have had a difficult month. You are a brilliant bunny mummy sending you a big hug xxxxx

It's ok to be selfish because this is going to have a huge impact on you (being selfish is not always a bad thing, and in situations like this is it important to pay attention to how you feel), but equally, try to balance focusing on yourself with focusing on her because it would be horrible if 'when its too late' you wished you had focused on her more.

It is hard, so very incredibly hard, but remember you have support around you.

I'm sorry you went through that with your dad. Remember though, that the 'blessing' is that Pearl can be put to sleep when you feel she is ready, whereas people have to be here until their body can fight no more, so she won't go through what your father did because you can read Pearl and see the signs and prevent that pain and suffering.

My Pm box is open if you do want to talk about this because, as you can clearly see, I can relate a lot to what you are going through.

donnamt said:

your first video is brilliant too

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The video was hugely healing. Maybe that might be something to think about, like an 'aim' for this time, so that you give Pearl the world, and then when she has gone, you can transfer it into a tribtue video to show how much she loved life.

Sky-O said:

The video was hugely healing. Maybe that might be something to think about, like an 'aim' for this time, so that you give Pearl the world, and then when she has gone, you can transfer it into a tribtue video to show how much she loved life.

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its really hard to video pearl... :lol::lol::lol: shes thinks i have food so i only get her nose up close and nothing else :lol::lol::lol::lol:

and alvin thinks my phone is the work of the devil and glares at me :shock:


thankyou everyone, im doing something i dont usually let myself do.... have emotions!!!!!!!!!!! :evil::lol::lol::lol:

if ste comes back now he'll think someone has died with all these tears :shock:

It's good to cry, and its good to have emotions. It will help you heal, and probably help you be with her again.

Yes, I have been trying to film 'Baby' but all he wants to do is see what I have. But if you stand there long enough I'm sure she will go elsewhere, especially if you give her a treatball, or some food elsewhere. Equally, you can you a videos made of photos (but you might have the same problem :lol

I'm making a scrapbook for Sorrel....I don't do technology so videos are a bit beyond me but I'm doing collages with special photos and writing out the funny things she used to do, and poems that remind me of her and so on.....it's pretty and means I'll never forget anything

Sky-O said:

It's good to cry, and its good to have emotions. It will help you heal, and probably help you be with her again.

Yes, I have been trying to film 'Baby' but all he wants to do is see what I have. But if you stand there long enough I'm sure she will go elsewhere, especially if you give her a treatball, or some food elsewhere. Equally, you can you a videos made of photos (but you might have the same problem :lol

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i wish i could video the run around i get each morning with her drugs. shes so clever i cant do the same routine more than twice :roll::lol::lol:

oh hun sorry to hear you;re feeling down, it's bound to feel awful for you, it's an emotional rollercoaster for you and it's only because you and care for them both so much that you feel like this.

thinking of you and the bunnies

xxxxx

donnamt said:

i wish i could video the run around i get each morning with her drugs. shes so clever i cant do the same routine more than twice :roll::lol::lol:

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Get Ste to do it :lol:

Then post so we can laugh.

Thinking of you hun and sending massive hugs, its hard when they are sick and you don't know whats going to happen The amount of times I have sat with the rats crying incase they get worse tomorrow

Always here if you need to talk hun x

clutterydrawer said:

I'm making a scrapbook for Sorrel....I'm doing collages with special photos and writing out the funny things she used to do, and poems that remind me of her and so on.....it's pretty and means I'll never forget anything

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What a lovely idea.

I do know how you feel donmat - I'm in a similar situ with Ginger. Losing a member of your family is a horrible thing to go through. For me, wondering about how Pickle will cope is very hard. Ginger is his littermate and they've been inseparable for 6 years - I think he'd be completely lost without him.

I feel guilty for thinking about life without Ginger, while he's still running round my feet pestering for food. I guess though, like the others say, it's important to try and come to terms with it. At least we know our buns had the best lives we could give them too.

Oh hun im so sorry, i havent been around much but i have been keeping an eye on any pearl related threads.

I know how you feel, when peanut was constantly up and down i just felt like i was saying goodbye to him all the time. The lowest moment for me came when we went to a garden centre and i saw this flower and i cant remember what it was called and it my head i thought "well that would be a nice memorial" and he hadnt even died. I just kept telling myself that he was going to die and it all all i thought about when i looked at him. I felt if i told myself that it wouldnt hurt as much when he died, but of course it did.

I spent the last 3 months of his life convinced he was going to die and i often got upset even looking at him. Now i look back and regret it SO much. I could have made special memories those times i was too upset to see him.

Now ive made a promise to myself to take each day as it comes with healthy, poorly, or even a terminal bunny and be happy because otherwise whats the point? Pearl doesnt know she is poorly, she is a happy bunny and that is what you need to tell yourself.

You dont know what the future is going to hold, a month, a year, 5 years? Nobody knows, but look at each day you have with her (and alvin, etc) as a bonus, and enjoy it.

big hugs x