• Forum/Server Upgrade If you are reading this you have made it to the upgraded forum. Posts made on the old forum after 26th October 2023 have not been transfered. Everything else should be here. If you find any issues please let us know.

What if you don't bond with your bun?

Starlight

Warren Veteran
I love my rabbits dearly, they mean the world to me, but i just don't seem to have a bond with Autumn.

People may say- well you have only had her a month, but when i got Twilight, a few months earlier, it was an instant bond, as was with my other 4 who i would do anything for. I don't "not care" about her, i just don't feel for her like my others. She will never be a cuddle bun as she has fear aggression, but i have got her to the point of being able to stroke her while she has her dinner, without losing my arm- a big milestone for her. This is however, not a reason a to why i would not have a bond as my Storm is a flighty girl and does not tolerate cuddles for long. Will the bond come in time? :? :(
 
Last edited:
She's not bonded with the others yet is she (or is she, and I've just missed a lot :oops:) You may find that she changes totally when she has calmed down and is happily bonded with the others. If you keep working with her on her fear aggression and particularly once she sees that your other nutters are not afraid of you, you may find an even stronger bond develops because you will see the fruits of all your hard work :)

Even if she never quite 'bonds' with you, does it really matter if she is happy with her new friends? I adore all my bunnies but to be honest I couldn't articulate a meaningful bond with them - it's not that I'm not very attached to all of them, just that I know full well that they couldn't care less if I exist or not, as long as I feed them and keep them clean :lol:
 
I didn't have a bond with Wesley initially but I've got a really strong bond with him now. :D I'm sure it will happen.
 
You are an animal lover and I think you will bond with her in time.

When I took on Guinness my primary affection for him was because he was keeping my special girl Poppy company. When she passed I found it hard to spend any time with him because I resented him for not being Poppy. Obviously I still looked after him though.

After a while I realised he was a loving, trusting spirit who needed my affection as much as anybun did. I still remember the exact moment I realised I loved him, as I was lifting him from his run to his hutch one evening in June. I had always loved him I just didn't realise before.

I had the same thing with Sorrel, at first she was just a rabbit which lived in my hosue and after a while I came to realise how much I loved her.

Just give yourself time, all rabbits (and people!) are different and I'm sure that deep down you love her. x
 
I have bonds with all of mine except one. Little maisy... I have just never 'bonded' with as I have with the others. It's probably because she won't let me even touch her and I refrain from doing so because she becomes so stressed out. She's a very very shy little rabbit who just likes to do her own thing. She came to me when she was 6 weeks old and has always hated me touching her in any way! She will come to me for food, but most of the time just likes to stay in the bedroom that she shares with George. She won't explore the house and hates going outside. I usually make her go out for a change of scenery, but as long as she has George I don't mind not really having that bond with her :)

ETA I love her just as much as the others.
 
She's not bonded with the others yet is she (or is she, and I've just missed a lot :oops:) You may find that she changes totally when she has calmed down and is happily bonded with the others. If you keep working with her on her fear aggression and particularly once she sees that your other nutters are not afraid of you, you may find an even stronger bond develops because you will see the fruits of all your hard work :)

Even if she never quite 'bonds' with you, does it really matter if she is happy with her new friends? I adore all my bunnies but to be honest I couldn't articulate a meaningful bond with them - it's not that I'm not very attached to all of them, just that I know full well that they couldn't care less if I exist or not, as long as I feed them and keep them clean :lol:

Nope, not bonded with the horrors yet!

I hope so as i brought Moonie through a horrible fear of people when i first got her (pet shops mishandled and threw animals where threy wanted them :cry:)

It doesn;t matter as such it's just as i spent two years earching for my dream breed in a rescue and by all means i am willing to put the work in, i find it rewarding in the end, but i have a stronger bond with Scarlet than Autumn :cry: And i feel guilty for it :?
 
I think bonding will make a difference. Mai, Honey and Roo were terrified of people.. they would growl, thump, and hide whenever people went near them, now they run up to people.

I never thought Mai would tolerate people, after 11 months in a rescue without being handled, you could see the fear in her eyes if you went anywhere near her, she'd even attempt to bite if cornered.. a few months later and shes a completely changed bun thanks to bonding with Violet :D
 
It is difficult when they don't show affection back. I'm sure in time, once spayed etc. she will come round, just like Moonie did.
 
Its not the fear that stops me having a bond, my closest bond of my current 6 is Moonshine. It took me 3 months to get her not to back in the corner (actually moulding herself to the hape of the corner) and physically shake and flinch at the sight of my hand. Now she will run over, paw me for cuddles and climb up my legs. She did however become like this before i bonded her with the others.

I just don't feel a connection for her like for the other, though i did feel alll fuzzy inside when she binkied for the first time :love: She is all graceful when she does it, like a deer!
 
it may be that you have wanted her for so long that maybe its a bit hard to accept that you finally have her? am i right in thinking that you got your hopes up about getting her and then something happened which looked like she might not go to you?
probably not true and im waffling :oops:
 
Its not the fear that stops me having a bond, my closest bond of my current 6 is Moonshine. It took me 3 months to get her not to back in the corner (actually moulding herself to the hape of the corner) and physically shake and flinch at the sight of my hand. Now she will run over, paw me for cuddles and climb up my legs. She did however become like this before i bonded her with the others.

I just don't feel a connection for her like for the other, though i did feel alll fuzzy inside when she binkied for the first time :love: She is all graceful when she does it, like a deer!

Autumn is such a funny thing :love:
What accomodation is she in at the moment?
She is a big bun so maybe in the kennel once bonded she will be more like herself.
What is it about her that you can't 'connect' with?
 
She is in a 5.5ft x 2ft x 2ft cage until spayed and ready for bonding.
I don't know, it's really strange, i just don't feel a connection, maybe i have like post natal bunny depression or something :shock: :?

I don;t hate her and take her a day at a time (and a bite at a time) and i am sure she soon will be a nice girl as the improvement already in her having fusses, albeit it only being at dinner time, is amazing, but there is just something missing.
 
She is in a 5.5ft x 2ft x 2ft cage until spayed and ready for bonding.
I don't know, it's really strange, i just don't feel a connection, maybe i have like post natal bunny depression or something :shock: :?

I don;t hate her and take her a day at a time (and a bite at a time) and i am sure she soon will be a nice girl as the improvement already in her having fusses, albeit it only being at dinner time, is amazing, but there is just something missing.

It is probably the agression towards you.
When is she in for her spay?
 
But i have handled bunnies before who are aggressive -Ozzy at college is a Nethie who can NOT be handled without Falconry gloves as he willl hang off your arm. He has been neutered and if he can not attack you, will turn on his wifelet. And i think he is a cute little monkey- people were shocked a few months ago as i picked him up barehanded no problem and with no puncture marks!!

I have 9 buns due for neutering, it is just fitting them in around things, and at the vets discretion for my bill.
 
Aww don't feel bad I think it will come in time. Hares arn't really cuddle bunnies. Perhaps you could spend a few hours each day just lying beside her, just ignoring her or reading a book. Take the top off the cage, and let her gradually come to you and explore you on her own terms. Wasn't Bramble like that to begin with? and look what a great job you did with her. :D
 
Aww don't feel bad I think it will come in time. Hares arn't really cuddle bunnies. Perhaps you could spend a few hours each day just lying beside her, just ignoring her or reading a book. Take the top off the cage, and let her gradually come to you and explore you on her own terms. Wasn't Bramble like that to begin with? and look what a great job you did with her. :D

There isn't enough room in a run for me to lay yet give her much fleeing space- she likes to be a big distance away. And can not let her free range as the other buns hutches and share the area to a degree. I know hares will never be cuddlies, and i only pick her up to carry her to and from a run- which i have to do with a towel wrapped around her face to stop her wriggling and struggling.

I would take the top off her cage however she is in the bottom hutch of a block of 3 and that might be a bit tricky to put back on :lol:

Brambs was like that, yes, but we had a strong bond even when she bit and drew blood through 3 thick layers :shock:


I started by simply talking to her for a week at dinnertime, then by getting her to let me rest my hand lightly on her head. I can now stroke her but will stop and shut her hutch once she has had enough and moves away.
 
I have a bun who i haven't bonded with, Millie. Shes a very shy bun and likes to keep herself to herself. Maybe thats why, if they don't give back to you?
 
I've got a few I'm not close to:oops: - Smirnoff is grumpy & hates me, Treacle lives with the psycho Calel, so I barely get to spend time with her, I would say Calel - but after seeing him attack other people I think maybe he thinks I'm ok:? Sugar - she sees me as Food Source. Cracker sees me as Big Hands that catch him when he wants to come in. The others like nose rubs & attention from me:D
 
Don't worry you will bond in time, when we first got Biscuit I kept comparing her to our previous bunny Dylan, that she wasn't so friendly or so cute etc etc.

It actually took quite a few weeks to bond with her and now I love her LOADS.
 
The bond will come in time - the fact you got that warm fuzzy feeling when she did a binky is a sure sign ;)

Sometimes it just takes longer with buns that are difficult but they end up stronger bonds because of the work teken to get there. It took me 7-8 months to bond with Luna yet only 1 month to bond with Sora and they were equally 'difficult' buns. They're all just different, thats all :wave: I personally find that the 'turning point' is when I have to have them in the house with me for a few days - with Luna it was bonfire night (and she never went back outside as intended :oops: ) and with Sora it was bringing her inside when she had stasis. Once Autumn has reached that turning point and 'clicked' she is likely to have a much stronger bond with you :D
 
Back
Top