We are not alone...

I Know that I am not alone in my grief for losing my precious boy Gabriel yesterday. So many of us have lost our dear friends, so I wanted to start a thread to share our feelings and offer each other support.

I for one have a very recent loss and still cannot stop the tears, I know my boy is with me, I feel him and his warmth in my heart, yet I'm still struggling with coming to terms with the everyday things in my life where he used to be - him charging out from under the bed when he heard me coming, him clambering over me for bedtime treats, jumping on my head for my early morning wake up call...and so many more things

I watch his wifey Daisy and hope that she is ok and understands and wonder what is best to do for her as regards another companion and when - I cannot replace by angel just yet...

I'm hoping and praying that my pain passes as the time passes and hope to forget the memories of him dying and remember his life...

I know I am not alone in these and many more thoughts and emotions and welcome... and ask... for others to share. I'm coping the best I can but suggestions are all welcome..

My sister has recommended I find a pic and get it framed - I will do this but I'm just not ready to pick just one yet..

Please use this thread to share your experiences, your advice and hopefully we can help each other...

Oh you've brought tears to my eyes.

Ziggy used to run out from under the bed at me too. he'd jump at me to say 'hello mum its me!'

Ive been offered one of his brothers or sisters but I'm very unsure of what to do.

*hugs*





I want my Eclipse back... I miss him so much

Julia123 said:

I'm hoping and praying that my pain passes as the time passes and hope to forget the memories of him dying and remember his life...

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That is exactly what happens, I promise. At first all you can remember is the traumatic stuff of the bun's last day, but in time you'll be able to remember them and smile rather than cry.

When I lost my last bunny, I missed everything about them - even the bad stuff, like having to give medicine 3 x a day, the constant worrying etc. Then I started to only miss the good stuff.

I have found great comfort in the responses to my post on Gabriels illness and his Rainbow Bridge post and find myslef going back and looking for more responses - which just make me cry more.... I hope this thread will help me to move on and help anyone else in the same situation - past or present no matter how long ago to have a place to share...

Julia I still talk with Jack EVERY single day and he passed to The Bridge in March 2006.
I have loved and lost many Rabbits but Jack, he was so special. Like your Gabe Jack was with me at my lowest point. He never left my side. NoBun will ever replace him and I will miss him every day for the rest of my life.
I no longer try to stop the moments when all I can do is cry because I can no longer hold him. The more I tried to block those feelings out the stronger they became. So now I cry when I need to. Its no longer every day or every week. But just now and again the intense sadness engulfs me and I just 'ride the storm' so to speak.

Nowadays I can also smile when I remember Jack. When I think of all his cheeky antics and the way he always liked to sit in a certain place in the garden and do 'happy Bunny flops'

Nothing takes away the loss you feel but in my experience you find ways of learning to live with it. Trying to push the sadness aside and hide from it just makes things worse. Going through the times of sadness becomes more managable, an aquired 'art' I guess :? The intensity of despair does not go on forever and somehow you just get through it, one day at a time.

Lots of hugs Julia

xx

I cannot stop crying - from the moment I went to sleep to the moment I woke up .... I know you are right Jane and I am glad I can grieve.

I love all my bunnies but Gabriel was just so special - I cannot explain it and I don't need to - God Bless Gabriel, Jack, Eclipse, Ziggy and ALL those special souls x

I apologise in advance as I have a feeling I will be posting here a lot... I'm one of those people who needs to 'talk' and doing so in a forum that understands really helps, and as I said hopefully other people can come here too and know they are not alone.

My second positive move of the day is to get myself in the shower, tidy up and give some love to Daisy.

I'm just totally dreading it when Jazz goes.... I get so worried every day He's really going through it at the moment and has another vets visit on tuesday.. he is such a special bun to me, my lil man

I was a complete wreck for about three weeks after losing Scrabble (avatar picture). Like with Gabe it happened quickly and out of the blue - I was totally unprepared for it. My main regret is that such a special rabbit came into my life when I knew so little about how to do right by her (I obviously thought I did at the time but I've learnt so much in the year since she passed).

I cried so much I had sores patches on my face, I couldn't eat properly for about three weeks (I lost 3/4 stone). I fleetingly wanted to drive into the side of a bridge 24 hours after I lost her, I was completely broken. Just as I was picking myself up I'd have kicks in the teeth such as at work my computer password was "Scrabble" and I'd get a message saying, "Your password has expired..." Try explaining to a room full of people why that makes you go into floods of tears! I think I reached a turning point when Artie had ?bloat and he was shifting about and uncomfortable. He actually came to me for comfort - the only time a bunny has ever done that. I fell asleep on the floor with him and when I woke he was well and looking at me with a worried expression I even had to sleep downstairs for about 3 months as the upstairs of the house was too empty without Scrat there. It was definitely Artie that made life worth living again. I've become incredibly close to him. The day I got him back from his recent surgery was the first anniversary of losing Scrat (17 April) so it felt a bit like a new beginning. Same as others have said I can also remember her and laugh and smile now, though losing her so quickly and unexpectedly will always haunt me.

Julia123 said:

I apologise in advance as I have a feeling I will be posting here a lot...

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Don't apologise Julia. If it helps you to keep talking , then that's what you should do and we are all here to listen. Your grief and pain is still very raw, so just do what feels right for you. My thoughts are with you. xx

hello swettie. I'm not surprised you are a blubbering wreak. I was walking around with a red nose for ages when we had to have woodhouse pts and he was only with me for a month and was a foster bunny so should have been leaving anyway

Have that shower, give daisy a cuddle and go and do some painting.

When we had to have Oakley helped to the bridge Ali was a wreck for months. We had her cremated and she is on the mantle piece (she loved lieing infront of the fire) and even now Ali talks to her and he still gets upset, and this is a man who didn't like rabbits, Oakley was pts in October 2007, we still miss her.

Im so sorry your in pain and i can assure you the pain fades in time.
Its almost 2 months since losing Blackie and the pain has almost left, its usually at night i have a little cry to myself because hes not there but i now remember all the good times we had together and i can now look at pictures of him and the video i have of him as a baby with Skye and Fudge

I got his ashes returned in a lovely urn and it sits in a plant pot with a plant i got just for him, hes at the bottom of my bed and every morning and evey night i say hello and blow him a kiss I know hes with me and Fudge and it helps alot. He was very special to me and when he passed away i hated myself so much and vowed never to let the other go through what he did, my little fighter

Oh his Birthday (17th December) im going to the build a bear factory and im getting a black bear (He was all black and i used to call him my big bear ) and i will get to put the heart inside of him and name him Blackie, in memory of my boy I can then cuddle up to the bear everynight and think of my angel.

I have His brother Skye and Fudge that are like Blackie my special babies, I love all three exactally the same and see a little of Blackie in both Skye and Fudge, I am dreading the day its their turn to go to the bridge and without Fudge my life will shatter.

Keep your chin up and cry as much as you need, i thought the tears would never dry up but in time they do. Talk on here as much as you need it helps alot, not many people understand the whole in your heart left by a bunny but we all do

Sending hugs your way xxx

P.s I found that not cleaning his cage until it was the 'right' time helped ease the pain (almost 2 weeks ) xxx

I've only been through losing a rabbit once, Daisy's little brother who passed away on his third morning of being with us. Despite such a short time with him I was devastated, and blamed myself for missing some sign that he was unwell ... although he was playing and seemed fine when I said goodnight to him. I'll never forget coming down stairs the next morning and finding him. To lose him so soon at what should've been the start of a happy life in his new home was heartbreaking

And I can only begin to imagine how much worse it must be after living with your bunny for months or years.

((Hugs))

I'm so sorry hun. I lost my buster in Febuary and i'm still so heartbroken, she was my best friend and was always there for me. She came through so mucn including uterine cancer yet still kept fighting, she loved playing out on the grass and munching dandilion leaves, until one day she could take no more, she died in my arms from a stroke and i'll never forget that moment, but in time i promise you will remember the goods times more that the sad ones.

Pen xx

Oh Julia, I'm sorry you lost your bun.. and you are so heartbroken.. I can understand totally - everyone on here understands, thank god.

I lost my Toshi 9th April - he too was a bed monkey - jumping on heads, running to greet me and pouncing out from under the bed. Not sure if you remember him when you did our home check for Flossie. He was the white fluffball with eyeliner, who batted your hand with his paws when you knelt down to stroke him!

He was my angel, my special bun.. I still hurt now. The places we used to sit together, the naughty things he did (wallpaper missing in places under the bed) his bed, toys, expecting him to be there, wishing I could just have that one last snuggle with nose buts and kisses.. I am upset now as I have bottled a lot of it up since I lost him.. I cried for a day, was totally numb for a week and now I get a lump in my throat every time I think of how special he was, and how much we loved eachother. Why oh Why did he have to leave me? I have to have a cry when I need to, when I'm alone and none of the bunnies need me - for 5 minutes. I still have his mom and 2 brothers and his sister.. (as well as the non-related buns) as much as I love them, Toshi was different. He loved me, and showed it every day... I miss this so much. He made me feel that it was all worthwhile, he was my reward for the hard work and heartache that goes in to caring for bunnies.

The night I bought his body home I sat on the sofa cuddling him and crying for an hour - some peeps may think cuddling a dead rabbit is odd.. but I had to say goodbye. I burried him in the garden in an underbed storage box with his favourite toys, and some basil, and his blankeys snuggled round him.

Once the ground sinks / settles well, I am going to plant my bunny tails grass plants and some basil there, along with a bunny ornament (that doesn't look demonic, like so many bunny ornaments do!)

The night of losing him, I cleaned all his stuff out, gave his bed and toys and bowls (as he was always more spoiled!) to the other house buns.. and moved his fluffy brother Crackers and Flossie into our room. Seems soon I know, but it gave me a focus, and I couldn't bare going into our room and not having a bunny scuttling to greet me, begging for food, bouncing on the bed.. it just felt so cold in there without a bunny to make it whole. Everytime I smell the Basil plants I am nurturing, I think of Toshi, he loved it and always smelt like Basil (and cucumber).

Seeing Crackers and Flossie investigating everything and Crackers leaping up and down on the bed made my heavy heart lighter for a moment. He is a lot like Toshi in his mannerisms and his personality.. but he is shy and isn't the snuggle bun that Toshi was. This makes me feel more honoured when he chooses to snuggle up to me after a brushing session (he is really saying "I'm trying to hide, leave me alone" but it is nice for him to feel secure in the fact he is snuggled up in my arms!)

I have a locket with a photo of Toshi and a bit of his wool. I was finding his wool stuck to things for days after he left me... which was hard to bare. But with this locket he is as physically close to me/my heart as is now possible. I am going to get his best picture blown up, and a beautiful large frame and put it up in our bedroom.

This thead is a lovely idea, and I feel better just for sharing the lonelness I feel without my Toshi. I hope one day I feel stronger when I think of him, at the moment I am still feeling empty without his love.

Hugs to you Julia x x

I lost my Piper in febuary She was very very quiet on the saturday so throughout the saturday night she was nursed and taking to the vets on the sunday for treatment. By the monday afternoon when I finished work, she was so poorly I had to rush back to the vets with her. It looked like she was trying to flop down but couldnt get comftable, and I took her out the box to sit down my jumper instead, it was then I realized she was gasping for breathe. She died in my arms in the vet waiting room.
For the first few weeks all I wanted to do was cry, because her death was so traumatic and so sudden, all my other rabbits have recovered well from gut stasis.
Im glad I had 2 precious years with Piper, but still feel a pang of guilt and sadness when I look at her daughter Holli or if its a bright sunny day, which I know she used to love.
Nothing will ever bring her back - but im glad she was in her favorite place when she died, cuddled up with her mummy

We are here for you and when you have lost a special bunny like your gabriel it does literally break your heart.
I have lost many bunnies throughout the years but now and then comes an extra special bunny. Mine was benny a big french lop. He was like no other and brought me so much joy. I was a wreck when he died and thought i'd never cope with out him..but you do! it will take time and crying is good. I found it helped to do things in his memory and have several mementoes to remember him. It is 1 1/2 years now since he died and i still cry now and then as i miss him so much but i also remember the first day i met him and fell in love and it fills my heart with joy that i got to share my life with such an amazing bun.
talk all you like! the forum is a life saver as friends and family don't really seem to understand...but we do!
take care xx

I'm so sorry for all you losses, Linzi1lovesanimals - yes I remember Toshi so sorry you lost him, I didn't recognise your name on here and have forgotten your real name but yes I remember you and your buns - thank you for remembering me. I'm glad this thread has helped you.

Some lovely tributes and ideas I have read, I am having Gabriels ashes and was going to put them in a pot with a tree but he was a house bun and I had never thought of a house plant - thank you Fudgemallow for making it clear what I will do!

I am re-reading all these posts over and over and wish none of us ever had to go through this pain - but without it we would never have had the love - I see that now.

I hope this thread helps you as it is helping me, my tears have stopped for a while and I have enjoyed such kindness today from you guys and also my friends and family Mum came over and bought a photo frame, a beautiful pink plant, a card and pastries with her - bless her.

I know the bullet of pain will return again but for now I am beginning to take a tiny step forward.... thank you xxx