View Full Version : Too soon?

Jazzy B Bunny
24-03-2009, 02:28 PM
How long would you say is too soon to get another bun after losing one? I think for me personally getting another would help me with the pain, but my family think its too soon. They think I'm just 'replacing him' which im not. Its not like that at all.

24-03-2009, 02:30 PM
Well i lost my harvey on the 5th and a couple of days later i said we need another bun to keep toffee happy... so we searched for a rescue and picked out two...

theres never a wrong or right time to get a new bun after loosing one... its whenever you are ready. you arent replacing the old one just bringing more into the family... Its whenever you feel ready to move on...

MopsyMops =]
24-03-2009, 02:37 PM
I think its different for everybody. Some people have to fill the gap where as others i think like to hold onto the memorys. It took me quite a while to get over my mopsy, but i knew when i could actually have another bunny :)

I think only you know :D

sam and nala
24-03-2009, 02:37 PM
i agree i think whenever you feel ready to get another bun you should, and yes it wont replace your old one but you will grow to love this new one and it will help you move on :)

24-03-2009, 02:48 PM
I've seen it written as 'when you remember the memories with smiles instead of tears' but to be honest I think I will always have a little cry over my lost little ones every now and then for many years into the future.

I have given it a month since losing Luna and whilst I feel ready (still with great sadness, but there are always bunnies in need of a home) my husband still isn't completely ready and I think it will be a few months yet for him.

I would wait slightly longer than a few days, for my own benefit, because I know how my own emotions work and whilst it won't be replacing Luna, I will feel like I'm putting a ‘band-aid over the wound’ to heal it. I know if I do that then, when I lose the next bunny, it will feel like losing Luna all over again because I never truly got over the raw grief of her death and it will be double the hit.

Only time will tell, and only you will know when you are ready *hug*

24-03-2009, 02:51 PM
There's no right or wrong in this situation sweetie. You have to do what's right for you.

No one will ever replace your bunny who passed away, but that doesn't mean that you can't love another bun either.

Did your bun have a husbun/wife?? That will play a huge part in your decision.

Good luck, I know it's not easy.


24-03-2009, 03:09 PM
As everyone else has said, its when you feel ready and there is no right or wrong.
I lost Blackie 3 weeks ago today and for me its far too soon and i would feel like i was replacing him, even though it wouldnt be. I have 5 other bunnies to take care of so thats my priority ATM.

I hope you decide and make sure you decide whats best for YOU no one else. If you think it would help then go for it:D

Good Luck on what you decide :D:wave:

24-03-2009, 03:36 PM
im terrible for replacing :oops::oops: id probably have a new bunny/chippie within the week :oops:

if you need a new bunny dont feel bad, they fill the hole in the heart but in a different way, its not really replacing because they are indiviuals and cannot be compared

mini lop1
24-03-2009, 03:37 PM
you'll know when your ready :wave: after thumper died i got rosie a month after, and after mitzi left i got mowgli 8months after

24-03-2009, 03:37 PM
Its different with everyone i think.
Last month when i lost Rory, i had a new friend for Flopsy within the week as she was so lonely

Jazzy B Bunny
24-03-2009, 03:51 PM
Its just I dont like looking at his empty hutch :cry: I dont there will ever be a right or wrong time either its just my family, but at the end of the day they are my rabbits. I am the one who deals with them on a daily basis. Im thinking of going to have a look at pets at home adoption centre tomorrow. Just to see whos availble.

24-03-2009, 05:15 PM
i rescued another one within a week of losing kieren,there was one up for adoption the same as he was, black and white spots but i just couldnt face one the same as he was, so i got lester whos a white lop i knew if i had got the other one i would want him to be the same and it wouldnt be fair. you will know the time is right.

24-03-2009, 05:17 PM
I don't think there is any need to wait, personally I would probably be looking straight away. I love keeping pets and would be excited about the thought of a new addition. This doesn't detract at all from your loss in my opinion, you can still grieve but will just have something positive to think about as well :)

Jazzy B Bunny
24-03-2009, 05:24 PM
I just think it would help me to get over the loss. My family want me to wait though. I know what I want, but im worried about the reaction I'll get from my family.

24-03-2009, 05:30 PM
it helped me cope because had to give him love and attention, your not replacing eclipse your giving another bun a chance for a better life, hes watching over you from the bridge and he wouldnt want you to be upset. like you said the buns are your responsibility so your family cant really say anything, if you want another one go for it

Ted an Petal
24-03-2009, 05:31 PM
I just think it would help me to get over the loss. My family want me to wait though. I know what I want, but im worried about the reaction I'll get from my family.
i wouldn't worry about your family at the end of the day it's your feelings that are the most important, i think you should go and look at some rescue buns and see if one catches your heart then you'll know if it's the right decision or not. if you don't that special bun then you can give yourself some time. maybe move the hutch somewhere where you won't be looking at it everyday. hope you feel better soon and don't feel pressured to do anything, just do what makes you feel better. good luck hun

24-03-2009, 05:32 PM
Hi. I don't think that getting another bunster will make any difference either way to how you cope with the loss. If you feel that you are happy to have another one now, then that's right for you. Don't let anyone make you feel that you are replacing your bunster..you're not. There are so many rescue bunnies desperate for a loving home so I think you should go right on ahead.

24-03-2009, 05:33 PM
I just think it would help me to get over the loss. My family want me to wait though. I know what I want, but im worried about the reaction I'll get from my family.

Always go with your gut when it comes to your pets. I have always found that. My OH is one to wait until he feel emotionally over a pet to get a new one, i have alwyas got new ones within a few weeks as i have always find that it helps me. It doesn't mean i'm replacing them or that i didn't love them it's just the way i am. Why be miserable trying to get over the loss of a pet, i for one find that the longer i am without a pet the more miserable i get, then again i have always been someone who relies on there pets to make them feel better as i've done this my whole life, my pets are my therapy, i could never be without them

Jazzy B Bunny
24-03-2009, 06:30 PM
I think I will go and get another one. My mum just keeps saying that she doesnt want to hear anymore about it and my dad just gets annoyed when I bring it up, so im just going to go and do it at some point without telling them. That way they cant complain. :( :)

24-03-2009, 07:26 PM
when willow died,the thought of coming downstairs to an empty room was unbearable.I cried all the time when I saw the gap where her toys etc used to be.We got her ashes back after a week and took them to White Post Farm[where we got her]to scatter them.we had a look at some buns there,took some pictures and thought about it over night.We went back the next day to get Barley.I have no regrets at all.No animal could ever replace Will but Barley gave me a reason to smile again.

Bunny Buddy
24-03-2009, 07:39 PM
Same as some of the other have said, when I lost Scrappy (11 months ago) I couldn't bear to be in the room she lived without her, it was torture, so empty, I felt so lonely in the upstairs of my house without her, I even started sleeping downstairs because I couldn't bear to be without her :cry::cry::cry:

It was at this time I started to realise how many bunnies were in rescues. 'Giving a home to a bunny that needs it' didn't feel like replacing her but giving a home to another felt more like a tribute to her. When Rudy joined me about 8 weeks after she died I felt like I'd made a horrible mistake as I had an incredibly close bond with her and I just couldn't understand him at first. That said my head was all over the place and he did give me a focus, I think I would have been miserable and dwelling for a lot longer without Rudy to fuss over. It really wasn't a mistake, just a shock to the system as he was so different to her.

Don't take on the first bunny you see that needs a home, just if you get a really strong instinct that it's right. Give youself a week or two to look unless you get that "I just knew" feeling. If you do find the right bunny straight away brilliant - go for it!

24-03-2009, 08:43 PM
Well when Claude died i only left it two weeks before getting Vinnie but only because Miffy was lonely,I wasnt replacing Claude because that will never happen:( I still think about him everyday,Its up to you how long you leave it though x

Sparkle x
24-03-2009, 08:49 PM

Sparkle x
24-03-2009, 08:52 PM
You will know, i went through this when i lost Lopsy.

I couldnt bare going outside to Bo and the other buns. I cried each time, seeing Bo on his own was breaking my heart. I couldnt say Lopsys name, nor could i stand it being said, i just broke down.

Even thinking about my big baby now makes me cry. I just miss her ways :love:

I left Bo to grieve and towards the end of the week, Bo became really shy and wouldnt come near me, we found him sat in the corner most of the day. It was then i knew i needed to do something. So i bonded Bo with Tiffany and Precious, however Bo and Precious didnt get on so i removed Precious and now Bo lives happily with Tiffany :love:

You wont ever replace the lost bun. Nobun could ever replace Lopsy, her personality was one of a kind. :love:

Two other bunnies i have lost, Bella and Angelica. Bella was so poorly towards the end and dispite being in the Vets, she decided to had had enough. She was so beautiful and at first i could only remember Bella as the poorly bun, but in time i began to remember her playing in the garden :love: Angelica left me suddenly one morning, she was so cute and had beautiful markings, i was so shocked at her death, but again in time, it heals and you remember the days of them bombing about the garden and playing with there friends :love:

**Big hugs to you**

24-03-2009, 10:15 PM
I too would rush into getting more, thats the sort of person I am. Id feel rewarded for giving a loving home to other bunnies. Not a replacement but new life to love. Why is it you want a single bun?

24-03-2009, 10:17 PM
How long would you say is too soon to get another bun after losing one? I think for me personally getting another would help me with the pain, but my family think its too soon. They think I'm just 'replacing him' which im not. Its not like that at all.

When i lost lilly, i reserved a pair at barc... i couldn't do it though as it was too raw.... however 3 months later, we got a bun from barc and whilst he doesn't fill the hole, hes great and i love him to bits! :love:

24-03-2009, 10:46 PM
I think you should go for it if thats how you feel. Fr me since we lost Jazz last week i felt it was too soon to replace him but seeing Izzy so upset and lonely on her own i have her booked in for bonding on Friday. The new bunny won't replace him at all but i am sure we will love him just as much.