Grieving? Never been in this situation before

As you know my beautiful big girl passed to the bridge this morning in my arms I am absolutely devasted and cant get my head around my loss. Lopsy leaves behind her partner. I left Lopsy's body in with Bo for around 1-2hrs.

Having never lost a bun who has left a partner behind i dont quite know what im meant to do? Bo is eating but is generally sitting in a daze. I put him in the run whilst i cleaned the hutch, but then put him back in hutch due to weather. Bo isnt a people rabbit, never has been. Hes taken some goodies from me but isnt one for cuddles. Bringing him inside isnt a possibility unless i moved him back to the OH's house...

awwww (((((hugs)))) im so sorry to hear of your loss.

Sorry to hear of your loss.
I think all rabbits, like people deal with things differently.
When Fudge died, Jessica withdrew and ended up being very quiet.
We eventually bonded her with Snowy and Jess and she is a much happier rabbit.
Milly has been the same since Smokey died, she has just been speyed so we are now in the process of deciding what to do next.
I never take the rabbits inside if they lose somebody, it just causes more change and stress as far as I can see, but that is just me.

halfpenny said:

Sorry to hear of your loss.
I think all rabbits, like people deal with things differently.
When Fudge died, Jessica withdrew and ended up being very quiet.
We eventually bonded her with Snowy and Jess and she is a much happier rabbit.
Milly has been the same since Smokey died, she has just been speyed so we are now in the process of deciding what to do next.
I never take the rabbits inside if they lose somebody, it just causes more change and stress as far as I can see, but that is just me.

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Thanks. Bo has been inside before for a run about and he wasnt happy and could tell he didnt like it. Bringing him inside like you say i feel will stress him more. I just feel so sorry for him. I cant get it over it myself, cant imagine how he feels.

Im so sorry for your loss. I would imagine it will take some time for both you and Bo to come to terms with Lopsy being gone.

Poor you & Bo

I've not had a partner left before, but I'm tempted to say that if he's eating & healthy to leave him to it for a bit - I'd make sure he gets plenty of attention - chatting if you're in the garden etc - so he doesn't get lonely.

Pass him some nose rubs from me (if he'll accept them)!

KateB said:

Poor you & Bo

I've not had a partner left before, but I'm tempted to say that if he's eating & healthy to leave him to it for a bit - I'd make sure he gets plenty of attention - chatting if you're in the garden etc - so he doesn't get lonely.

Pass him some nose rubs from me (if he'll accept them)!

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Thanks, so far i have been out to him around 8times this afternoon, think hes getting sick of seeing me :lol:

He is Ok, i have been giving him treats each time i go out

Just feel so sorry for him.

Nat, for now just keep an eye on him, It too early to tell how he is going to react. Charlie started pining for Princess about 3 or 4 days later, when he realised that she wasn't coming back. There was no difference in eating etc, he just was a different bunny with a friend around. Could you not bond him into another pair/group?

lottielouise said:

Nat, for now just keep an eye on him, It too early to tell how he is going to react. Charlie started pining for Princess about 3 or 4 days later, when he realised that she wasn't coming back. There was no difference in eating etc, he just was a different bunny with a friend around. Could you not bond him into another pair/group?

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Thanks Louise. I am going too for now. Just keep checking on him

I dont have another pair really, as i dont want to break there bonds and dont think they would accept Bo.

I have Tiffany and Precious but we will see. :?

i have been in your situation and it's part of your grieving to feel bad for Bo. You sound like you are doing your very best for him and as long as he is eating then hopefully he should be fine, just take a bit of time for him to understand what has happened. It is much harder when they are not a sociable bunny as all you want to do is pick them up and give them a big cuddle.
I am sorry for your loss and know how you are feeling right now...

i am so sorry about your big girlie.when we lost bam in 2007 lola coped really well and took to being alone as we moved her into a room leading off from our bedroom(her very own bunny playroom!).she lived with us upstairs and i am in no doubt that she grieved for bam,but she adjusted very well to having us all to herself and was very happy,sadly we lost her in jan due to a horrible illness.we miss her terribly,it took me the best part of 5 weeks to stop crying.however when we lost our big boy dudley,also in 2007,his partner moo(who sounds very much like your grieving bunny,not really a people bun)reacted totally differently,again she was a house bun,but she would not do anything.she also sat day in day out looking very lost+bewildered.we ended up having to get our lovely bob (less than 3 weeks after losing dudley)to bond her with.it took a few days but now they are inseperable and live with us in lola's old bedroom(previous to losing lola,they lived in our converted basement room together)i hope you can all come to terms with your sad loss,sending lots of hugs to you all.x

im so sorry..and its awful watching for signs your bun is grieving harder than you think.
Berties been widowed before w ehad him and he he took his bond break up as best he could with bif.....but when his huge huge wifey willow died end of oct in our lounge hed obviously been with ehr when she was dying and was hiding from her body..wouldnt go near it. we took her body to vets and he was very wihdrawn..then we thoguth he was coping ok and within a few days he was very ill indeed. he ddnt get over it..he tried to get near bif and bandit and every now and then theyd wash hime tc and make a fuss then attack him.
It wasnt until bandit and bif rushed off to the vets with bandit dying that the dynamics changed totally. Bif was heartbroken and within a few days theyd rebonded themselves without anyhelp..they were untied in grief..and still are..its only been a few weeks since bandit died and they rely on each other soooo much..much much more than when they used to be a couple together.

all you can do is provide their normal stuff..hay food water etc..but also keep a check on form a distance and also offer the odd noserub..or clean them out with them allover you..sometimes just another warm body to get close too provides comfort.
Bif was hospitlaised overnight friday and bertie thought shed died..he came back a broken rabbit and headed for his dog bed and the big cuddly toy bunny of his..he threw this aside once she cane home.....
so maybe a big cuddly toy in case a snuggle is needed..they dont always use it right away.
bif isnt a people bunny either but when bandit was ps she was very accepting of nose rubs etc...and even sat by my feet whilst i was tlaking ot her for about 15 mins one night.

do you have any other pets? its just that each time weve lost a bun..willow and bandit..the two cats grieve and they go to comfort the other buns.
when bif stayed overnite..the cats were as lost as bertie abd they slept either side of him..sat near him..washed his ears etc.....to comfort each other.
when she came back they mobbed her

its odd but buns and other pets can form a tight bond and help the others grieve...and some buns will freak a bit then rely on human contact....like bertie did after willow. we had to take it in turn staying with him and sleeping with him on the sofa. ever since him n bif have been together he doesnt need snuggles on the sofa every day all hours day and night.

but if he lost bif..he showed us hed rely on us and the cats again.

take youre time as youre grief can even make them feel worse..i was such a state over bandit and so guilty feeling that i upset bif..my daughter banned me from the lounge for 24hrs

my heart goes out to you..xx

I'm so sorry to hear about this Nat, we lost our Molly yesterday and Muffin looked so lonely in their hutch last night and refused to eat anything. This morning I popped him in the run with a load of hay and he started nibbling a bit. We lost our dog Sapphire 2 weeks ago too and merlin has been grieving for her. This afternoon I found Merlin cuddled up alongside the run and Monty was laid inside the run next to him, both fast asleep.

Animals cope in their own way same as humans really. It will have helped enormously that you left the body in with Bo for a while.

Thanks for that PurpleBumble.

Im sorry to hear about your losses.

My heart is well and truely broken, i just cant get my head around it all. She was my baby, so special to me. She was my first ever bunny and i loved her so much, more than anything else. She followed me everywhere and happily came to me and sat with me. She was always there to give me those much needed cuddles when times were hard for me

I keep going out to check Bo and at first he seemed Ok, coming up to me taking treats etc. I sat and watched him from the window, he was munching hay, having a drink, fighting with some toys, then went to sleep. Its killing me seeing him on his own. Then i checked him again this evening, he wasnt interested and wouldnt come near me, when i went to get him he hid away in the back of the hay. I gave him a noserub and let him be. I have put extra hay in tonight and may consider the teddy idea.

Thanks very much..

I just want my beauty back

holidayhutch said:

I'm so sorry to hear about this Nat, we lost our Molly yesterday and Muffin looked so lonely in their hutch last night and refused to eat anything. This morning I popped him in the run with a load of hay and he started nibbling a bit. We lost our dog Sapphire 2 weeks ago too and merlin has been grieving for her. This afternoon I found Merlin cuddled up alongside the run and Monty was laid inside the run next to him, both fast asleep.

Animals cope in their own way same as humans really. It will have helped enormously that you left the body in with Bo for a while.

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Thanks hun and i am so sorry to hear about Molly and of course your dog Sapphire.

Its all very heartbreaking.

Bo's never ever been a people person, very far from it. So not sure what im going to do yet. Going to give him time and take things as they come.

What happened to Molly? She was beautiful

It was all very sudden with Molly, she had been fine, was o.k all day, had been out in the run with Monty etc, then I go to check on them at tea time to top hay up etc and I knew as soon as I got to the hutch something was wrong as Monty was on his own(They are never not in the same area together). I opened up the sleeping compartment and she was laid there on her side with awful raspy breathing. Jumped in the car, called the emergency vet enroute, met him at the surgery and he said she had lung failure and was literally drowning inside. There was nothing he could do to save her so we let her go peacefully

Bo will be fine given time I'm sure. When Molly lost Muffin she was grieving terribly, so much so that the vet said we were to leave it no longer than 10 days to find a new partner for her. 3 days later she was bonded with Monty and as much as it pains me to say it, her bond with Monty was a much closer and happier one. Bo will let you know in his own way what he needs from you.

holidayhutch said:

It was all very sudden with Molly, she had been fine, was o.k all day, had been out in the run with Monty etc, then I go to check on them at tea time to top hay up etc and I knew as soon as I got to the hutch something was wrong as Monty was on his own(They are never not in the same area together). I opened up the sleeping compartment and she was laid there on her side with awful raspy breathing. Jumped in the car, called the emergency vet enroute, met him at the surgery and he said she had lung failure and was literally drowning inside. There was nothing he could do to save her so we let her go peacefully

Bo will be fine given time I'm sure. When Molly lost Muffin she was grieving terribly, so much so that the vet said we were to leave it no longer than 10 days to find a new partner for her. 3 days later she was bonded with Monty and as much as it pains me to say it, her bond with Monty was a much closer and happier one. Bo will let you know in his own way what he needs from you.

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So sorry to hear about Molly.... She sounded like Lopsy....:? Lopsy was laid on her side and her breathing was "different" sadly we didnt make it to the Vets

Thanks Lynne. Just been to check him again, he ran away and then i moved his bowl and he lunged for me :roll: Not those games again.....:?

x

I think they have to work through their own loss, as well as you. Different bunnies grieve in different ways.

I did a homecheck for a bunny that would not eat after losing her partner and they were trying everything, even digestive biscuits and it had been weeks. Greenfields took her in and on bonding her with a new partner, she started chomping away. When I lost Maisie, I was very fearful for Daisy who is herself quite poorly. I let her loose upstairs and she follows us around and sleeps for hours in my room when I am working in there and seems very happy. She runs around the house and has a lot of company. Her health restricts me rebonding her.

I think you have to monitor the situation and, if he is eating, pooing and drinking, then he will be temporarily fine. When you feel better, you can make a decision about his future and whether you rebond him. It is so hard to lose a beloved bunny.

raine said:

I think they have to work through their own loss, as well as you. Different bunnies grieve in different ways.

I did a homecheck for a bunny that would not eat after losing her partner and they were trying everything, even digestive biscuits and it had been weeks. Greenfields took her in and on bonding her with a new partner, she started chomping away. When I lost Maisie, I was very fearful for Daisy who is herself quite poorly. I let her loose upstairs and she follows us around and sleeps for hours in my room when I am working in there and seems very happy. She runs around the house and has a lot of company. Her health restricts me rebonding her.

I think you have to monitor the situation and, if he is eating, pooing and drinking, then he will be temporarily fine. When you feel better, you can make a decision about his future and whether you rebond him. It is so hard to lose a beloved bunny.

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Thankyou. Its nice to hear how others have coped.

Today Bo is out in the run, i ate my breakfast on the step watching him. I gave him a tiny bit of toast and he set off running around the run like a looney. He did a binky, which made me smile He is eating, drinking, etc etc. I just hate seeing him on his own, im not used to it if that makes sense :?

Im finding it very hard to move forward from loosing my beauty yesterday. I bursted into tears last night when my OH said her name. I cant handle it. She was SO special and i just want her back.

o im so sorry you lost her. i kno how u feel in 2wks ive lost gizmo -the one on my pic and my 3youngest. gizmos partner buttonose was lost for few days but did pick up -like u i was in and out . as for crying -yup doing that too.
take care hugs to u