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View Full Version : I need some advice...I dont want to be blasted but I need some help :(



ChloeLawless
24-02-2009, 07:17 PM
Hopefuly some of you can help me nicely and give me some advice...i have been umming and arrring on weather to post this on here all day and I dont know what else to do....

here goes..

As some of you know, Lily and Paddy have gone away for a week to be bonded.

So far its been unsucessful...Paddy is being very very dominant over Lily and theyve had to be seperated numurous amounts of times due to fighting. (proper fighting not scuffles)

Lily has obvious problems in the past..after her major surgery and problems with her gut so I am very worried about her going through a lot of stress from a troublesome bond, as it could really cause her some trouble.

Jo (bunnery) who is doing the bond thinks that if theres no imrpovement by friday then it will be a lot harder or even impossible for them to get a long...and because I am worrying about lily I am wondering weather to continue anymore after the weekend....even though I know it does take longer than a week..I thought we'd see a small amount of progress yet theres none..just agression.

The trouble is, if this dosent work out I may have to rehome Paddy as I cant keep two buns seperate in the house, as I have limited space.

This is the part I am worried about talking about as I dont want people thinking I can't be bothered, or that I dont like Paddy etc. As I do...I got him through his EC scare and I like to think I have made a difference to him. I just HAVE to think of Lilys troubles too..and I have had her since she was 8 weeks old.

I just need some advice...as I am so worried and upset over it all.:(

Milo+Fizz
24-02-2009, 07:22 PM
Awww hun you have to do what is best for you and your buns. Your not the first forum member to take on a bun and have to rehome them due to a failed bond, people wont think bad of you. I hope things work out for you :(.

honeybunny
24-02-2009, 07:23 PM
I'm not trying to knock the person who is bonding..but if a pair I'm bonding have a proper fight..I keep them apart for at least three days..completely nowhere near each other..so they can forget the fight..then start again

of it is a bad fight..ie wounds caused..I recommend a four week split before retrying

if you try them together so soon after falling out they will just re-establish their dislike for each other.

If it is just normal fur pulling and a bit of chasing,,then fine to keep trying..but if this is the case they shouldn't be split..just watched round the clock so it doesn't escalate

hope that helps??

hurricanhoney
24-02-2009, 07:28 PM
I've been in exactly the same situation as you where my two won't get on and Wesley had EC. I wouldn't blame you at all for rehoming Paddy if you can't keep them separate. I keep mine separate by separating a room and they are together but can't actually get at each other. I had thought about getting a friend for Wesley as it is Honey causing the trouble and moving him to the playhouse with a friend. Hope they get on and it gets sorted.

bluebunny
24-02-2009, 07:32 PM
Where are they being bonded? anywhere near other smells or sights of rabbits? Have the actually bitten or drawn blood on each other? cause ive had diffcult bondings with chasing nipping and scruffles but as long as there are actually not bites or blood drawn just patience needed
When i bonded Dandy and Truffle, Truffle bit Dandys willie and a couple of days later attacked him cutting his mouth they were spilt for just over a day and rebonded at Jills so all is not lost if they dont get on instantly

ChloeLawless
24-02-2009, 07:43 PM
thanks for the responses.

paddy has bitten lily and drawn blood, on her ear. i saw her tonight and its ok and shes alright but a bit jumpy.

i did wonder weather to get them back fri..then try again. but i am hopeless at it, i need help :(

at the moment im thinking its gona be one last try...or rehoming.

i feel just awful though..even though i do understand that not all buns are compatible x

yoshi&gizmo
24-02-2009, 07:48 PM
i am hoping to bind yoshi and gizmo [originally thought gizmo was female but turns out he is male too] so i have two nuetered males to try and bond. We tired once and they had a tussle and fur was flying so we seperated! Now they are in seperate hutches and have seperate play times but they sniff each other through the cage normally without aggression and yoshi even lays outside gizmo's just chilling next too him :love:

I am lucky in the sence i can keep my two boys seperate if they don't ever get along but i would be gutted if i couldn't. I feel really sorry for you it must be a horrible situation to be in. :cry: If it does come to having to rehome i am sure you will find someone who can take good care of him. Good Luck anyway :wave:

Lucy
24-02-2009, 07:50 PM
He won't be rehomed, he would come back to the rescue he came from. I do still think it is very very early days as far as bonding goes and you can't really make a judgement this far into it. Things can change yet so don't give up hope.

honeybunny
24-02-2009, 07:52 PM
I would ask for them to be seperated for 3 days ..then retried..I'm sure it will work out

ChloeLawless
24-02-2009, 07:53 PM
He won't be rehomed, he would come back to the rescue he came from. I do still think it is very very early days as far as bonding goes and you can't really make a judgement this far into it. Things can change yet so don't give up hope.

thats what i meant, sorry. i do know he'd be back at rspca.
it is early days and i would like to try someone else. im just worried about lily :(

lilbun
24-02-2009, 07:54 PM
I would never say never with rabbits. I had two that disliked each other. At least she disliked him and would box him if he got too close. Then after about 6 months she learned how to escape from the part of the garden she was fenced off in and suddenly they were grooming each other... much to the dismay of his wife bun...:)

ChloeLawless
24-02-2009, 08:04 PM
thats what i do understand

i know it can take a while...but i just get SO worried over lilys health. too much stress could kill her.

and if things are going to take an extremely long time i dont want that :cry:

i would be awful at bonding myself

i really need help..its getting so stressful and upsetting and i just dont know what to do and hate that im gona just look terrrible for it all :cry:

bluebunny
24-02-2009, 08:06 PM
It can take up to 6 months to fully bond it did with Claude and Miffy they hated each other to start with,but when they were bonded they were lovely together and Miffy was so depressed when he died

ChloeLawless
24-02-2009, 08:19 PM
can anyone else help me with bonding!? :(

~ Cat ~
24-02-2009, 08:21 PM
Chloe, bonding is so stressful, I can empathise with you x x x x

Becky86
24-02-2009, 08:24 PM
can anyone else help me with bonding!? :(

Have you tried any of the Fat Fluffs ladies :) Im sure they could sort something out for you... PM Chloe :)

I know your having a hard time hun. Some buns take months to bond :( Lottie and George evenutally bonded after 7 months! It does seem to drag on when bonding. Id help you, but im useless, dont know how i did lottie and George... i mustve been alot calmer last year :?

ChloeLawless
24-02-2009, 08:31 PM
thanks andrea. i just feel at my wits end now...if lily hadnt of been ill i wouldnt be so worried.

i think i may get in touch with the fat fluffs girls for some help :(

Milo+Fizz
24-02-2009, 08:31 PM
can anyone else help me with bonding!? :(

I would ask Fat fluffs if they mind helping for a donation of course. I would be more than wiling to help but it sounds as though you need an experienced bonder. Good luck hun, i really hope it all works out for you. XxX

donnamt
24-02-2009, 08:38 PM
its a shame youve had chance to become attached to him... when alvins first bond failed i was slightly gutted but Jubilee had never been mine so its wasnt so heart breaking.

Id be devastated if Alvin and Pearls bond broke now but i have to face the fact if it did Pearl would go back to her other mum if it was not fixable :(

i dont think you should force a bond hun, theres thousands of rabbits out there for your girl to pick from, but maybe next time adopt from a place that will send them home bonded so you dont get attached

big hugs to you xxxxx

ChloeLawless
24-02-2009, 08:41 PM
i dont think you should force a bond hun, theres thousands of rabbits out there for your girl to pick from, but maybe next time adopt from a place that will send them home bonded so you dont get attached

big hugs to you xxxxx

thank you hun

to be honest thats what i want to do. it isnt fair on my baby. nor is it fair on paddy. i just dont want to face people thinking i am no good.

donnamt
24-02-2009, 08:48 PM
thank you hun

to be honest thats what i want to do. it isnt fair on my baby. nor is it fair on paddy. i just dont want to face people thinking i am no good.

he will go back to the rescue and find a new home with his perfect wife... id be surprised if any rescue would want a bunny they have loved be in an unhappy bun-marriage when they could find happiness somewhere else...

from reading one of your first posts i was surprised that the woman had seperated them on the first meeting even though they hadnt fought...:shock:

if an experienced bonder does offer help hun, it would be worth a try then atleast youll know its really a no go relationship and not a bit of panic from the woman they are with at the mo....

i think of it in human terms... would i be happy with an arranged marriage with no escape, or would i rather meet and like the bloke then make a decision myself

Lucy
24-02-2009, 09:01 PM
I've asked someone who is local to you if she can help out and I am just waiting for an answer. I think you need to take a fe deep breaths and calm down a little. You're going into a panic overdrive after just a few days, which is nothing in terms of bonding. You are already talking as though you have given up on them which also isn't fair to either of them.

ChloeLawless
24-02-2009, 09:04 PM
I've asked someone who is local to you if she can help out and I am just waiting for an answer. I think you need to take a fe deep breaths and calm down a little. You're going into a panic overdrive after just a few days, which is nothing in terms of bonding. You are already talking as though you have given up on them which also isn't fair to either of them.

ok thank you

i dont want to give up...i just have lilys concerns at heart.

KarenM
24-02-2009, 09:06 PM
Bonding is very stressful, so I can sympathise. Alfie and Bubbles had to be rebonded after Bubbles was spayed and I spent the first few days worrying that they were never going to get along again & what I would do if they didn't.

yoshi&gizmo
24-02-2009, 09:20 PM
I've asked someone who is local to you if she can help out and I am just waiting for an answer. I think you need to take a fe deep breaths and calm down a little. You're going into a panic overdrive after just a few days, which is nothing in terms of bonding. You are already talking as though you have given up on them which also isn't fair to either of them.

do you know anyone who could help me with bonding my two boys? they seem to be ok through mesh but when i tried bonding them back when we still thought gizmo was female they had a right tussle and fur was flying but no serious injury thank fully. They will lay and sit next to each other with mesh inbetween them most of the time, but occasionally they show real signs of aggression! I would love for them to be friends but am not really brave enough to find out if they will be because i am afriad of the fighting. Would i be better off keeping them seperate???:cry::?

threebunniesmad
24-02-2009, 09:20 PM
We tried bonding our giant rabbit and it was unsuccessful, dont feel bad about taking him/her to a rescue or rehoming its better for them that they are happy.

Lucy
24-02-2009, 09:26 PM
I am not saying it's bad, merely that a fair chance must be given to the buns to establish whether it can work or not. We've all done bonds where things have looked bad then suddenly things have turned around. Lets just see what happens in the next few days.

lopears
24-02-2009, 09:29 PM
Chloe, I really feel for you and hope it all improves quickly. Everyone knows you love your buns and are doing your best.:)

ChloeLawless
24-02-2009, 09:33 PM
Chloe, I really feel for you and hope it all improves quickly. Everyone knows you love your buns and are doing your best.:)

Thank you

I have a few options now

thank you everyone xxx

Amy & Amber
24-02-2009, 09:36 PM
Dont give up yet, I can totally sympathise with you though after my Amber and Timmy :(

Keep positive

billysmom
24-02-2009, 09:54 PM
Hope things improve Chloe, sending bonding vibes.:D
Debx

ChloeLawless
24-02-2009, 10:44 PM
Thanks guys.

I have calmed myself down now and have a cleaer head and outlook on it. I think I know what to do now. Taking each day as it comes and even if I have to try again, I will for another few weeks.

Thank you for the advice and for the kind pms too. Made me feel a lot better and calmer xxx

BeanyBoy&TruffTruff
24-02-2009, 10:57 PM
Hiya...

Just thought I would add to the melting pot. I have been through the same stress last week. Bean was supposed to be bonded to Rosie who we chose from a rescue. However, they didn't get on at all - fighting and had to be separated in order to keep the de stressed. Bean is a little man but wanted to be dominant. So did Rosie. However, we made the decision to separate them and try again with another Rescue bunny. Our rescue, ARC, kindly helped us out with this and everyone really pulled together. :D I felt horrible for Rosie but it just wasn't in her or Bean's interest to try and keep them together. We now have Truffle who is Bean's wife bun. Brought them home yesterday :D:D They seem to be getting on great. No stresses or fights at all. Just lots of licking and sitting next to each other. Both have also been doing Binkis everywhere. :D

I think you need to really have a think as to whats best for both buns. I know its hard...just been there...but we have brilliant outcome!

Hope you aren't too stressed anymore...I am sure you will make the right decision!

Maizey
25-02-2009, 06:36 AM
Chloe,I had a group of five free range contis.They all loved each other dearly.Two of my bucks had injuries and both had to be confined,One had torn ligaments in his foot and the other in his knee.At the time I didn't realise how quickly a bond could be broken.When they were both better I let them back into the garden and I have never seen such horrific injuries.Willow bit the end of maizeys nose off,split his ear in two and bit a chunk out his cheek.maizey nearly blinded willow and bit a massive hole in his ear.I tried for months to bond them to no avail.in the end I had to separate the garden.
I can really sympathise how you must be feeling.I had months of torment and worry

willowholly
25-02-2009, 09:59 AM
Chloe,I had a group of five free range contis.They all loved each other dearly.Two of my bucks had injuries and both had to be confined,One had torn ligaments in his foot and the other in his knee.At the time I didn't realise how quickly a bond could be broken.When they were both better I let them back into the garden and I have never seen such horrific injuries.Willow bit the end of maizeys nose off,split his ear in two and bit a chunk out his cheek.maizey nearly blinded willow and bit a massive hole in his ear.I tried for months to bond them to no avail.in the end I had to separate the garden.
I can really sympathise how you must be feeling.I had months of torment and worry

This is one of the reasons ive only ever had 1bun,but I trust Jill to look after my B now im actually taking the plunge and bonding.:)

ChloeLawless
25-02-2009, 12:39 PM
I am really greatful to all of these replies, I do feel a lot better today.

I've come to the decision to keep going for another couple of weeks and if its still not improving I will then have to consider something else.

I was so upset last night, I feel like a failure and a bad owner :? I love Paddy...and I have seen him improve loads since we had him, his head tilts gone now and hes so happy so understandably its stressful and I hate feeling like this over it as hes gorgeous.

The reason its so late after we had him that the bondings started is because of his EC scare, he had to be kept seperate and run on a big course of panacur..or I'd have had this trouble sooner!

Fingers crossed something develops. And if it dosent he'll find a wifey one day, hes too cute to go un noticed.

Thanks again girls :wave:

ecudc
25-02-2009, 02:05 PM
I'm sure that chloe/vickie & the rest of us would be happy to help. Chloe was very good with getting panda who is a cute but evil little bunny to bond in with my lot & the first time we tried there was flying matrix kicks, spinning bunnies, biting, lunging & boxing. After a month they still don't have a perfect bond but we are certainly getting there. The bunnery are a great boarding house & Abi (woodlouse) has a great relationship with her local one but we're always contactable if you think you need extra help.

ChloeLawless
25-02-2009, 05:06 PM
I'm sure that chloe/vickie & the rest of us would be happy to help. Chloe was very good with getting panda who is a cute but evil little bunny to bond in with my lot & the first time we tried there was flying matrix kicks, spinning bunnies, biting, lunging & boxing. After a month they still don't have a perfect bond but we are certainly getting there. The bunnery are a great boarding house & Abi (woodlouse) has a great relationship with her local one but we're always contactable if you think you need extra help.

Thank you :)

todays been another bad day...they were together fine but paddy then bit lilys nose, drew blood and she got stressed so they've had to be split up.

reason being she can't get stressed due to her issues i mentioned before..or they'd have been kept together.

i'll be hopefuly at shels on saturday with my friend stacey (staceyf) to collect rusty so i can talk to her :)

thanks girlies!

bunny babe
25-02-2009, 05:54 PM
I feel for you. We went through something similar with Homer and Katy. It took 4 months eventuaally.

We got a wendy house as we thought we were going to have to keep them separate. I thought "I will give it one last go" as it was more neutral territory so took them both in there and sat between them. They hopped over my legs and did not show much interest in each other at first, then they started sniffing. As soon as I saw any sign of stress or tension I stopped it and then did it for 10 mins the next night. After about a week or so the times were extending to about an hour without any agression so I started to wait outside the door after half an hour to see what happened. We did it slowly again in the garden as it was a different environment and it was like we were starting over.

The slowly slowly approach with a lot of patience worked for these two and they love each other to bits now.

I know how stressful it is but wish you luck.

BeanyBoy&TruffTruff
25-02-2009, 08:34 PM
Just read this...after sending you a PM...please dont worry too much! Hopefully Lilly and the Paddy will both be less stressed now. :D:D

Bunny Buddy
25-02-2009, 08:47 PM
I really hope you can work it out but don't think you've failed them if it can't be worked out.

There's a story from last year which has really stuck in my mind (see thread) of two rabbits that just didn't want to get on and both went on to be happily bonded to rabbits they got on well with. So if it comes to it, think of giving Paddy up as an act of kindness NOT failure, because if it does come to that both bunnies will be happier in the long run.

http://forums.rabbitrehome.org.uk/showthread.php?t=124696&highlight=broome

if you need any further convincing, look at pictures of Bobbin and Roo :love::love: (Bobbin's second wife)


I hope it doesn't come to you giving him up, I know I'd struggle too but he WILL get a lovely home if it does come to it.

Sending happy bonding vibes, it must be incredibly stressful