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how do i forgive her???

XMissySJx

Wise Old Thumper
as i u guys may have seen onr ainbow bridge about 10 days ago, i posted a tribute to rainbow, my frinds bunny.

I made a post here about6 months ago explaining how my friend kept saying 'yeh i will have to get her jabbed' and she never did. shes my best friend so i didnt even question she wouldnt do whats right and now im racked with guilt.

my friend gow paid 2 weeks after she was taking rainbow home in june 07, so i lent her a 4 foot hutch, for those 2 weeks as it would be okay as rainbow was just a baby. she never got rainbow a new hutch :(:(

i said to her about spaying, vaccines and all she kept saying was 'yeh ill have to get that done when ive got more money'

yet she managed to afford V tickets two years in a row.

Rainbow died, and it was sudden and she ate an hour before so wasnt g.stasis, but it could have been VHD and i cnt forgive my friend.

i havent spoken to her in ten days, and i cnt imagine not being friends with her again but i am so devastated i cnt even bring myself to talk to her.
 
i think you may just need time hun, plus you cant know for sure why rainbow died, could have been anything and then that wouldnt be your mates fault.

if you really cant get it out of your head hun i think the freindship should be disolved it just depends on how much you blame her for the death really.

is she heartbroken or not too bothered <<< thats what would decide it for me
 
some people dont get the responsibility owning a pet involves. its just ignorance, and hopefully she will not get a rabbit again.
and i know this is gonna sound really awful considering the forum i'm on. but do you want to loose a friend because of a rabbit?
you tried to advise her, but unfortunately some people just dont get how important vaccinations etc are.
if she's been a really good friend, then i would just let it lie. i have a friend at the mo, who is going to breed her dogs- just because her husband needs a new car!!!!!! all i can do is try to tell her why its not a good idea but at the end of the day, i cant stop her.
some people think they love animals, but their actions prove otherwise. she didnt have the same bond with her rabbit as you do with yours, and although people on forums,such as this, would do anything to make sure our pets have the best- others think we're mad!
dont feel guilty, you did your best.
 
i dont know, i think she is sad but she doesnt seem as sad i would be, or as sad if it was one of the cats who died :?

but then i think she may not want to show me how sad she is bcus she knows i dont and will not feel sorry for her, part of me feels its harsh bcus it may not have been VHD but she fed her mix, not enough hay as she always said 'well shes still got some in there' and i would explain she needs fresh and shes been lying on the old stuff, so i still believe evenif it wasnt VHD, that the way she looked after her contributed to her death.

I just feel like a failure, when i got my bunnies we both wanted buns at the time, but bcus she was moving it was a great time, and she always loved being around mine, so i thought she would look after her SO well.

if she had a lovely big hutch, was spoilt rotten, and was so so loved ye tmy friend didnt vaccinate iwould still be mad but know how sad she was, but when i think of how she kept her, i think 'how can u be devastated when shes dead, if you didnt look after her when she was alive'
 
I agree with donnamt. Our Alec died suddenly and there was no obvious cause of death, he was only 18months old and had been neutered and vaccinated.
Perhaps you need to be with her to either prevent her getting another bun or helping her to get it right second time.
 
some people dont get the responsibility owning a pet involves. its just ignorance, and hopefully she will not get a rabbit again.
and i know this is gonna sound really awful considering the forum i'm on. but do you want to loose a friend because of a rabbit?
you tried to advise her, but unfortunately some people just dont get how important vaccinations etc are.
if she's been a really good friend, then i would just let it lie. i have a friend at the mo, who is going to breed her dogs- just because her husband needs a new car!!!!!! all i can do is try to tell her why its not a good idea but at the end of the day, i cant stop her.
some people think they love animals, but their actions prove otherwise. she didnt have the same bond with her rabbit as you do with yours, and although people on forums,such as this, would do anything to make sure our pets have the best- others think we're mad!
dont feel guilty, you did your best.

im all honesty, if i am 100 % honest i think the fact I gave her rainbow has made it a million times worse. if she got her herself, then i would be angry but not as much as i am now.bcus i feel like shes let ME down, aswell as rainbow. Because she made a promise to me of how well she would care for her, where as f she got her from a pet shop, or a breeder or whatever she wouldnt have had to make such a promise.

i think that is why i am so upset
 
ah if it was one of yours- no wonder you feel betrayed. give your self time hun, and see how you feel. its a very horrible situation to be in.
 
ah if it was one of yours- no wonder you feel betrayed. give your self time hun, and see how you feel. its a very horrible situation to be in.

it was my rabbits baby, and i have the dad and brother too (all fixed now!) so i feel so upset about it, as i in effect brought her into this world and for what?

shes let me down so much, and just everything cam ebefore rainbow. like with me mybuns come first, but i wouldnt judge her if she didnt feel that way, but like, she would say 'oh i bought this dress for £20, i cant really afford it but it was so nice' and i think, i fyou can buy a dress for £20, then i get rainbow jabbed for £13.

thing is in going to uni in 5 weeks and i can just see me leaving and not making it up with her, but i cnt help it. its more than Rainbow dying, its her taking her on, and lying to me.
 
I just think we have to accept that our friends don't see things the way we do. I have friends who are always getting rid of their animals, etc. It really annoys me, but I can't let it affect our friendship.

I can understand that this is deeper than that, but I honestly think in time you should consider forgiving her (just not forgetting, if that makes sense).
 
I hadn't realised rainbow was one of yours in which case she has let you down.
You are going to have to decide whether your friendship means enough for you to be able to forgive and forget. Also parting of the ways can be every bit as painful as the loss of a loved one so its only natural you should feel as you do. Take your time with your decision. Its sounds to me as though you both have different priorities now but can they be reconcilable? Can you trust her again? Can you settle for a less close friendship? Does she know how you feel and how deeply this has affected you, this might alter things?
You are right to put this matter to rest one way or the other before you leave for uni.
 
I just think we have to accept that our friends don't see things the way we do. I have friends who are always getting rid of their animals, etc. It really annoys me, but I can't let it affect our friendship.

I can understand that this is deeper than that, but I honestly think in time you should consider forgiving her (just not forgetting, if that makes sense).

:cry: I really feel for you, as you probally feel in a way responsible for Rainbow, but in no way is it your fault hun, i really agree with Sarahp above as ive too have encountered the same.Take Care.x Deb.:)
 
There is now way then she would pay for a post mortom to find how how rainbow died?

With out knowing its hard. it could of been through not enough care or something out the blue that couldnt of been prevented.

A woman round to corner from me kept guini pigs.She wasnt caring for them properly, novalty wore off I think as the 1st few years they were spoilt. I tried and tried to uide her through but she let slip again. She came round one day and asked me to look at her Guini pig. I got round and was horrified at the state of her. Bald underneath from amonia burns, lumps all over and dragging her back legs. I said get her to vets now but she wouldnt :shock::evil: So I removed the guini pig from her care and rushed her to vets, in which cost me a fortune and she refused to pay back. Anyway cost isnt the point. The girl was put to sleep straight away, riddled in cancer and what turned out as I asked for post mortom he back legs had been broken several times :shock::evil::( I was fuming, I went round and laid into her, i reported her also and she is banned from keeping pets. I cant bring myself to talk to her. I know this is a different case from yours.

Here ar some pics i took before taking her to vets:

piggie1.jpg


piggie2.jpg


piggie5.jpg


Hopefuly your friend wont get another rabbit due to the fact of her just not getting general care right, esp as she wasnt willing to listen.

xx
 
i kinda feel likeif i forgive her, im letting rainbow down. which sounds silly bcus shes a bunny, and shes not even here anymore. bu ti feellike by forgiving her im saying its okay.

and its not that she doesnt see pets the way i do, she LOVES animals, her o/h and his dad have 10 cats and she lives with her o/h who still lives at home with his dad, and carly is always playing with the cats etc, and her mum has just got a dog n she goes round there 4 days out of 7 to look after her when her mum is at work, so the dog isnt on her own.

and i just think.....why wasnt rainbow as important??

thats what bugs me, why are 10 cats important, why take in a baby kitten thats 2 weeks old that was abandoned and nurse itback to health, give it a good home spoil her rotten, and not even look after rainbow??

why wasnt rainbow important enough :(
 
This is a hard one :? Certainly give yourself time before you do or say something you might regret later...

Ultimately you will have to ask yourself, due to her treatment of rainbow, is she really the kind of person you want to be friends with? Or maybe she is a good enough friend in other ways for you to be able to forgive - none of us are perfect after all. Not trying to lead you one way or another just suggesting ways of looking at it. The best thing would be for you both to have a calm discussion about why you feel let down, but that might be hard to implement.

good luck anyway hun
 
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