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My Bad Week

Janna Galaxy

Young Bun
Hello,

I suddenly last Monday lost the love of my life Atlantis. He was fine last Friday, and then on Saturday, I found him looking sad. I couldn't get him to the hospital because of problems. I fed him and give him water. I let him sleep in my bed on Saturday night. On sunday I didn't stay at church long and rushed out after half hour as I couldn't bare to leave Lannie on his own.

Monday I thought he was getting better, his eyes were open alot more but he was still very quiet. When I let him out he just ran out into the passage which is very dark and curled up. He didn't even follow me. I was out of my flat at 8:45, I got to the vets then refered to the pdsa hospital. I didn't have an appointment and I was told that I'd have to wait until 5pm. I didn't care. I'd wait all day. I'd do anything for my Lannie, I was his Colonel Sheppard and Dr. Weir (a reference to stargate) rolled into one. I'd do anything for MY Atlantis.

The receptionist realised I was serious and I waited a few minutes and I was called in. The vet examined him and said..."He's very weak." and I was told he would be best to be put to sleep but I said "NO!" quickly and asked if there was anything else that could be done. I was told they could try and see if they can see if his teeth are playing up again. But because he was weak and lost alot of weight there was little chance of him pulling through. I wanted him to have a fighting chance. So I was told to bring him back tomorrow morning and they'd do it.

I left the hospital feeling determined. I walked down to the bus stop sat on the grass with Lannie. I looked into his carrier....he'd fainted. He was on his side and his breahing wasn't good. I rushed back into the hospital crying. They took him off me striaght away. A minute later, the vet called me in and I was told he wasn't going to live out the night, and that it would be best if he was put to sleep.

I cried and looked at Lannie. He looked so sad. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want him to suffer but I didn't want to kill him either. I started to get angry and argue about how it seems that animals are not as important as humans. I picked him up he didn't move. He felt light as a feather. I put him down and closed my eyes as I signed the consent form. I then cried held him again and said a pray. The vet then took him away. I sat on a stool while I waited.

A minute later they brought him back. He looked quiet. I looked at him and said "His he gone?" "Yes," the vet said and I passed out from shock.

In the taxi home I was numb.

Sorry, but writing it out as helped me abit.

I feel like I'm a murderer. I feel terrible. :(

I'm going to get another bunny as I want to give a rabbit the same chance I give Lannie.

But at the moment I feel terrible. Signing that form feels like the worse thing I've ever done. :(
 
You may feel like you've done the wrong thing but you haven't - he didn't suffer; whereas if you'd not had him put to sleep he would have done.

It's a hard decision and takes a long time to realise it was the right one, but I'm sure, deep down, you know it was. You're not a murderer - you gave a bun a great life, that's what he'll have remembered - you should too.
 
You will do, but it does get easier.

I still think about my first pair of buns, but I tend to think of the positive things, rather than the negative now, even though the negatives were things like me missing obvious things.
 
Im so sorry to hear about Lannie :(

You did the kindest thing though by having him euthanased, it stopped his discomfort and im sure he would thank you for it if he could :)

Hugs for you ((((*))))
 
awww that's really sad :( I watched my guinea pig Olly die of natural causes yesterday, and I wish with all my heart I had told the vet to have him PTS - he suffered dreadfully at the end I'm sure and I keep remembering it - I think you did the right thing for your animal, although it was harder for you - it's not like you gave up on him as it sounds to me like he had already reached the point of no return :(
 
Know how you feel.
So sorry for your loss
Look at it at being the very last caring thing you could have done for him...
 
Thanks for all your kind words.

Yesterday, I went to see his body before he was creameted. He looked alot more peaceful than on Monday. I played a song from Stargate Atlantis for him "Beyod The Night", the song was played at a funeral. I stored it on my phone that morning. It's very beautiful.

I held him in my arms for 20 minutes, I didn't want to let go. I knew if I let go I'd cry. And I did. I give him a little kiss, a pray and I left.

I know deep down I did the right thing, but it doesn't make me feel better. I think it's too early for me to stop mourning over him.
 
this is terrible but you did do the right thing but its still the saddest thread iv read in a long time. good luck.
 
It's very sad to hear what happened to you. Since he lost a lot of wt., it is most likely cancer. Whenever you brought him to the vet on Fri. or Sat., makes no difference if it were cancer. I would go to rehome bunny shelter nearest you, and get another rehome bunny, or a pair (male & female) to re-fill the energy in the home.

For future reference and for future preventive measure, blackberry, raspberry can have very powerful preventive measure on anti-cancer and can remove cancer cells even if your bun has cancer. I done it w/ my bun Goofball after 11 mth. of blackberry treatment

Let us know how old is your bun
 
Atlantis was only 34 months. Well I was told that he was 7 months when I got him in March 2006 from a pet shop. He looked so lonely.

He was going to celebrate his 3rd birthday in August.
 
Aw :cry: I'm so sorry for your loss. But I believe it was the best thing to do. *hugs* Don't think of yourself as a murderer!
My dear old hamster Curry suffered terribly for about a week,I still hate myself for not letting him go but I was so convinced he would get better,he was young and strong and I loved him so much. I just didn't think he would die. However after a few days he'd do nothing but lay down and whine with pain,and I realised there was nothing to do. I spent most of the days sitting down with him and talking to him,my voice seemed to calm him down a bit.
The best thing I could have done for him was to let him sleep,just like you did with your Atlantis,but I made the wrong choice and caused my pet a lot of pain. I'm glad you did the right thing.
He'll always remember you,wherever he is,and thinking about the times you had together,even if it's hard right now,is what will keep him alive inside your heart.

Sleep tight,little bun.
 
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