what to do????

[XMissySJx]

I have humed and hard about whether to post this but i am going to anyway.

My friend took one of Jellys babies she had in april last year. All the babies went to forever loving homes and now i feel quite upset. My friend is a caring person which is why im confused about whats happened.

She borrowed a hutch off me, which wouldnt be big enough for her once fully grown, but she was getting paid 2 weeks later and we looked online at the
hutch she was going to buy.

This was in June.... its now March.

The bunny hasnt had her vaccinations and every month she says 'im going to do that next month.' she is still in this hutch... and she hasnt been spayed which i know it isnt the be all and end all of rabbit care, however she makes a nest every 2 days and is very very hormonal and bites, and i explained to her about spaying etc and she wants to do it but she always says, 'i cant afford it right now'

she isnt in full time work shes at college like me. but she gets £300 a month, and she has 2 buy food etc cus she lives at her boyfriends house with him and his dad, and buy a train pass every month for £50. But the rest is hers. and i send her a email with a link to that site, but she said that shes not going to have the money this month.

i feel so awful and i feel like ive failed the rabbit. me and this girl are best friends and have been for years now and she is such a nice person but i jus dnt understand.

i feel like :censored: now. :cry:

[Crystal butterfly]

does the rabbit get out the hutch every day for exercise? vaccinations and speying is obviously a personal choice why dont you talk to your friend about maybe putting say £5-£10 a week into a saving account to help save up for a new hutch, speying and vaccinations. im sure you havent failed the babies hun as i know you would take them back if ever they need rehomed for any reason.

[XMissySJx]

well no, you see its a house with a small garden thats very plain just grass, and a fence round it which is like 10ft high. so she lets her run around it and i know people say about foxes but its so high n she watches her all the time. problem is....she can rarley do this as she has college 3 days a week and works 3 days, so its only sunday, and the other day she said she hadnt been out for 3 weeks and she felt bad.

n i explained how much she needed to etc and i said about runs and stuff off the net which are cheaper and bigger than pet shop ones n all she says is

'yeh il have to get one of them'
'yeh she needs a bigger hutch cus that ones tiny'
and she knows it is, it isnt about her being informed or not caring, she just keeps putting it off

[louise and Gus]

I would try and make up an excuse to take her back! Or else do you have an old run or anything you can give her, this poor bun hasn't been out of it's tiny hutch in 3 weeks.....she may be a caring person but it sounds very beglectful to me :(

[XMissySJx]

no because she loves her and adores her, i think its more a case of my friend having money problems. she spends as soon as she gets paid, etc. she dusnt budget properly.

i dont really, i mean i do have an extra run but i wont give it 2 her because its mine and i apid 4 it, and that may sound horrible but my point is, i budget and stuff so i can care 4 my pets i dont want to bail her out, i need to buy one herself. :cry:

[Teepee]

Could you not suggest that, while she saves for a new hutch, she may like to consider extending the one she has now to make it bigger? Could she not build a run too if she's strapped for cash? ORRRR could she not consider making bun a house rabbit - out of the hutch once a week isn't on, however much she loves that bun she's not being fair.:(

TP

[Crystal butterfly]

you could point her in the direction of a happy hucth, hutch run combo if she saves £10 a week she'll have enough for the hutch run combo in 12 weeks. having pets is all about sacrifices i learnt that over time :)

[XMissySJx]

well she wants her to be a house rabbit but her O/Hs dad wont allow it.

Her boyfriend keeps saying 'Dont spend loads on a ne whutch and run i can make one' but he doesnt. i told her where 2 get some mesh and wood fromw here we got ours n worked out to cost £25 for the bits and the run can be MASSIVE n i said if she wanted 2 go half on the mesh etc i would.

its just making me so angry. she sbuying V tickets in a few weeks, n she asked me if i could go, n i said 'i dont know cus the vaccinations are due this month so ill probably have to wait and get one closer 2 the time'

n she said 'but it will cost more' i then said 'yeh but imn ot letting ym pets suffer cus i want to go to V' n she got annnoyed at me

[Jocelyn]

I used to earn about £65 more than that a month when I first started full time at 16 - I had the opposite problem - spent all the money on them and forgot about me! I was slimmer back then :lol:

Seriously though, if you are really concerned, take the bun back!

[charlie82]

no because she loves her and adores her, i think its more a case of my friend having money problems. she spends as soon as she gets paid, etc. she dusnt budget properly.

i dont really, i mean i do have an extra run but i wont give it 2 her because its mine and i apid 4 it, and that may sound horrible but my point is, i budget and stuff so i can care 4 my pets i dont want to bail her out, i need to buy one herself. :cry:

hmmm.....I do see your point, but if you know the rabbit is suffering, and it is to have been locked in a hutch for three weeks, i would lend her the run. Thing is there is a big difference between loving an animal and loving it enough to care for it properly. Don't see it as bailing her out, see it as helping the rabbit have a happier life. I don't think being stuck in a little hutch on her own as being a happy life for her.

I looked after my cousins rabbits while she went on holiday at xmas, was told she had been keeping them seperate but I still took the male in to be neutered because I knew they wouldn't and low and behold the doe had babies two weeks later. I've had them here at my house, paid a fortune to keep them here and tried to find homes for them. My sister is having two but couldn't afford to buy another hutch so me and my brother have built her a huge 6f by 3ft double hutch. I want her to have them because I know they will be well looked after so I didn't mind paying out even though it's stretched my budget. Her friend also wanted two but couldn't afford a big hutch so I've donated one of mine that I don't use that is a triple storey hutch. I have also given her a run that I don't use so she can let them out while they are small then they will have the garden once they are big enough. I don't mind being out of pocket because I know the rabbits will be better off for it and to me that's more important. Obviously you are not in a position to lose your run for good because you paid your own money for it, but why not explain to your friend that it is just temporary and she really must buy her own or you should have the rabbit back?

x

[kayj]

Sorry but I would take her back, I did it with some boarders I had after speaking to the owner when she dropped the rabbits off and certain things were said to me so when she came back I told her that the rabbits would be better of staying with me so got her to sign them over

[Grace and Louis]

You can do 2 things - 1 is tell her that you need the hutch back because your taking in some rescue guinne pigs for a couple of months - then she will have to buy her a new one and when she has done you can tell her that the pigs never came in to the rescue and they are going to contact you when they next need some help

As for the vaccinations - scare her! --- tell her that you were contacted by the vets as there has been a dramatic increase in the number of rabbits in your area that have been bought in with myxi and that they are making sure everyones vaccinations are up to date as it is vaccination month and they really need protecting at the moment -- point out to her that a course of the VHD and myxi jabs will be cheeper than having them done seperatly

As for neutering -- tell her a story about a bunny dying from cancer as it wasnt neutered and how much the owner spent trying to treat her when neutering would have been a lot cheeper.

Obviously dont do it all in one go or she will get suspitious

[XMissySJx]

she wouldnt let me have her back. i know she wouldnt, and it would be so awkward 4 me 2 ask:?

i did offer 2 lend her a run ages ago event hough i didnt want to, now that i think about it. but she never came to get it. i dont have it nymore cus i gave 2 my sister 4 her rabbit.

[XMissySJx]

You can do 2 things - 1 is tell her that you need the hutch back because your taking in some rescue guinne pigs for a couple of months - then she will have to buy her a new one and when she has done you can tell her that the pigs never came in to the rescue and they are going to contact you when they next need some help

As for the vaccinations - scare her! --- tell her that you were contacted by the vets as there has been a dramatic increase in the number of rabbits in your area that have been bought in with myxi and that they are making sure everyones vaccinations are up to date as it is vaccination month and they really need protecting at the moment -- point out to her that a course of the VHD and myxi jabs will be cheeper than having them done seperatly

As for neutering -- tell her a story about a bunny dying from cancer as it wasnt neutered and how much the owner spent trying to treat her when neutering would have been a lot cheeper.

Obviously dont do it all in one go or she will get suspitious

well....One of jellys babies got myxi. it was an accidental litter after the the first litter she had, and she has one of the first litter. long sory but luckily only one baby out of 5 got it and jelly survived. i told her it was bad and she had to get her done n she said 'yeh i will do'

[LionheadLuver]

If she gets £300 a month, she can definitely afford neutering, vaccs, etc. I earn £80 a month and can still afford everything for them, so if I can, she can. It's about self control and thinking about the bunnies before yourself. Yeah, I don't have any money left over at the end of the month for myself, but I don't care, as long as the bunnies are well cared for.

[XMissySJx]

i know full well she can afford it, its just she makes out shes so skint all the tme but its because they always get takeaways and she goes shopping alot.

she always says she spends alot on her, its because she buys little bags of mix, bags of straw etc from the local shop which does ammount to about a £10 every week, but ive told her she can give me a couple of pounds n share our bale, or give me a £5 n split a 20kg sack of food. but she just never gets round to it

[Leanne]

well she wants her to be a house rabbit but her O/Hs dad wont allow it.

Her boyfriend keeps saying 'Dont spend loads on a ne whutch and run i can make one' but he doesnt. i told her where 2 get some mesh and wood fromw here we got ours n worked out to cost £25 for the bits and the run can be MASSIVE n i said if she wanted 2 go half on the mesh etc i would.

its just making me so angry. she sbuying V tickets in a few weeks, n she asked me if i could go, n i said 'i dont know cus the vaccinations are due this month so ill probably have to wait and get one closer 2 the time'

n she said 'but it will cost more' i then said 'yeh but imn ot letting ym pets suffer cus i want to go to V' n she got annnoyed at me

My first thought was that maybe her bf was pressuring her not to 'waste' money on her rabbit....
I personally would tell her if she doesn't sort out proper accomodation with a run and get her vaccinated at the very least you are taking her back.
When it comes to animals I have no qualms about telling my mates what for :oops::lol:

[XMissySJx]

My first thought was that maybe her bf was pressuring her not to 'waste' money on her rabbit....
I personally would tell her if she doesn't sort out proper accomodation with a run and get her vaccinated at the very least you are taking her back.
When it comes to animals I have no qualms about telling my mates what for :oops::lol:

me too normally. i know its not the issue here but basically i fell out with nearly all of my class because one girl said i bullied her because i didnt let her steal my work. they all make my life hell, and always make remarks and stuff. she is the only friend i have in that class.

i dont know why i posted really cus i dont know what to do. now im worried ur all gunna think im awful:cry::cry: she knows i would take ANY rabbit back. but she wouldnt give her up so i cnt do that:cry:

[louise and Gus]

I think all this "oh but she adores her" stuff is rubbish, rabbits don't need human love and attention most, they need space, good accommodation, food water, and prefrably bunny company!

You weren't to know so don't feel too bad, but I would do something about it, even if you have to give her your run for a while, I feel the space is the most important isssue at the moment...

[sillyrabbit]

I know its probably going to be really awkward but I would ask for the bunny back :( She said she was going to get a new hutch and neuter/vaccinate ages ago now but still hasnt, if she has put it off this long she will probably just keep saying I will do it next month for another 6 months :(

Also I would be very concerned about the bunny only coming out of the hutch on a Sunday and would say something about that. Work and college isnt really an excuse not to let the bun out for exercise. I work full time and all four of mine get about 5 hours out each day, even if it means me working late and not getting home til 7 but sitting in the garden until midnight.

I dont think your awful, she made out like she was going to care for the bunny properly and you trusted her so its not your fault. Good luck x

[chloaster]

no because she loves her and adores her,

Well she's got a funny way of showing it - if she loves and adores her bunny why is she spending her money on take aways instead of a hutch and vax'ing? :? Sometimes it can get awkward when situations involve close friends but this was your bunny and I think you owe it to her to stick up for her and your friend needs a swift kick up the backside to get her to stop splashing out on herself and to take proper care and responsibility for her rabbit.

[brightspark19]

It sounds to me that she didn't realise how big a sacrafice having a rabbit is. Not just in expense but also time wise.

It isn't that she doesnt love the rabbit and she prob had good intentions when she first took the rabbit from you but she obviously needs to get herself into a routine which suits her and her OH and rabbit. I work 5 days a week + 5 days at college a week and have 11 animals which i have to find time to fit in. But i do it well (i hope) and still have time to fit friends etc in.

I think your friends OH and family are interferring too much and deep down she knows that what ahe is doing isn't best for the rabbit and i also think that she didnt know how much of a part this rabbit was going to play.

They are like children, when you get paid you have to work out what the child needs before yourself. I think at the moment where i suspect she has only been earning for a little while, it is nice to have some ME money and she wasn't ready for all these extra costs.

I think you need to have a long discussion with her, away from her OH and family and ask her to explain truthfully about how she feels financially and if she feels she has enough time/money to give to the rabbit. Put her in the rabbits situation, but don't make her feel guilty. You need her just to realise that you will be there for her if she needs your help. She might not want to ask for your help as she feels ashamed that she might have let you down by not caring for the bun as best she could.

[XMissySJx]

i would take her back in a second. it just makes me sad because out of jellys 8 babies, 3 havent been neutured yet. one is my sisters, and that is because my mum is paying 4 it hasnt done it yet sue to work/time off but is being done withint he next month. and the other isnt being neutured as they dont want it to. but i dont mind because she has huge accomodation, and a lovely big run, they just dont want to spay her as she is a single housebun. While i agree with spaying im not going to pressure them as the bunny is cared for.

in this case she isnt being. what makes me so sad is the fact my friend always says ' if eel so sorry for her' etc, and she genuinly does, but what makes me so upset is...if she feels that sorry for her why doesnt she fix it?

[AlisonA]

Sounds to me like your friend needs to understand the difference between 'love and adore' and 'responsibility'. She is technically breaking the law now by allowing a bun to live alone in a small hutch. If she truly loves the rabbit she'll let it either go to a home that will look after it properly (not just love it!), or let it come with hutch (which after all, you lent her) back to yours until she has bought all the necessary equipment and paid for the vaccinations.

Sorry but it really irritates me because I'm afraid love is not enough.

[XMissySJx]

It sounds to me that she didn't realise how big a sacrafice having a rabbit is. Not just in expense but also time wise.

It isn't that she doesnt love the rabbit and she prob had good intentions when she first took the rabbit from you but she obviously needs to get herself into a routine which suits her and her OH and rabbit. I work 5 days a week + 5 days at college a week and have 11 animals which i have to find time to fit in. But i do it well (i hope) and still have time to fit friends etc in.

I think your friends OH and family are interferring too much and deep down she knows that what ahe is doing isn't best for the rabbit and i also think that she didnt know how much of a part this rabbit was going to play.

They are like children, when you get paid you have to work out what the child needs before yourself. I think at the moment where i suspect she has only been earning for a little while, it is nice to have some ME money and she wasn't ready for all these extra costs.

I think you need to have a long discussion with her, away from her OH and family and ask her to explain truthfully about how she feels financially and if she feels she has enough time/money to give to the rabbit. Put her in the rabbits situation, but don't make her feel guilty. You need her just to realise that you will be there for her if she needs your help. She might not want to ask for your help as she feels ashamed that she might have let you down by not caring for the bun as best she could.

i agree with everything you said. she isnt a bad person she does love her, but i know she isnt providing a good enough life for her. its very very difficult because she does make out that that the rabbit is okay, like even thought she knows she needs certain things, because she is planning to do it...that makes the bunny isnt suffering.

i said to her the other day, 'you not doing the stuff u said is just as bad as you saying your not doing it at all.' n she asked what i meant, and i said 'well rainbow isnt any happier being somehwhere she is going to get this stuff eventually, than being somewher where shes not getting it ever'

i just want her to do whats right. i really dont want to have to ask for her back... it will be so awful. but i will if i have to

[XMissySJx]

Sounds to me like your friend needs to understand the difference between 'love and adore' and 'responsibility'. She is technically breaking the law now by allowing a bun to live alone in a small hutch. If she truly loves the rabbit she'll let it come with hutch (which after all, you lent her) back to yours until she has bought all the necessary equipment and paid for the vaccinations.

Sorry but it really irritates me because I'm afraid love is not enough.

oh i know, and im not justifying what shes doing by saying that she loves her....i know its not enough for her. if i get her i will neuter and vacc her and then find her a loving home.

[AlisonA]

Sadly it does go to show why rescues homecheck though, and why they won't release buns simply on a promise that improvements will be made! If friends won't even make the improvements they promised then a random stranger wanting to adopt a bun possibly isn't either!

[XMissySJx]

i guess with her being my best friend i just assumed.......

i feel awful

[Fairy13]

What a difficult situation :(
I'm afraid that have fallen out with 2 friends and now don't see them anymore. Both because of how they look after/regard their rabbits which I didn't think were adequate. :rolleyes:
So I'm not sure what advice to give you.
I know its very hard but I think I'd have to tell her if she can't get a larger hutch or permanent run sorted then you'll have to have her back.
Saying next month all the time is not ok.
Sorry, what a horrible situation. I soon learnt though that just 'cos people are your friends doesn't mean they value their animals as much as you :(

[NickieM]

Could you get her to give you £20 when she gets paid and save it for her if you know she's rubbish at budgeting. It really isn't good enough for her to feel bad because the bun isn't getting out, but not be prepared to do anything for it. She sounds very immature and irresponsible. A pet is a living sentient creature that relies totally on you for everything. It should be considered first before takeaways and concert tickets. Maybe her boyfriend and his family don't like pets and can't see why she would be bothered with one. Maybe it was an impulse to have a cute likkle bunny without knowing how much work they are. I hope you can get through to her and the bun gets what it needs.

[Hugo's There]

This is going to sound awful, but I actually reported a friend of mine to the rspca because they wre neglecting their rabbits so badly.

Her daughter knocked on my door one day to say one of the rabbits had died and they didn't want to pick it up so would I do it. I went down to their house
and couldn't believe the state they were in. They had no bedding at all and had pulled plastic sheeting into their hutches. The dead rabbit was in the run and was in a horrendous state, its teeth were so overgrown that it had obviously starved to death.

When I got home I reported them but I then told the family what I had done and why and they were actually ok about it and realised what they were doing was wrong. I went with them to the pet shop to buy new accomaodation and supplies and helped them set it up. The inspectors came out and saw they had made an effort, and did a few follow up calls and the rabbits were ok after that.

They were actually grateful to me for doing it as they put it " it gave them the kick up the bum they needed "

If I hadn't of known them I wouldn't have been so nice about it but I didn't want to fall out with them cos i knew i could help them with the rabbits in the future.

I was angry at myself for not realising their rabbits had got so bad.

I'm not saying your friend neglects her bunny this badly only that maybe being a bit forceful with her might make her take action eg, if you don't do something to improve her conditions now as I know you can afford it, I will have no choice but to take her back. Say that you trusted her to give your baby bunny a loving home and shes let you down, but you don't want to have to fall out with her over it.

You don't want to get into the position where you wish you had done something sooner like I did

[XMissySJx]

i know, im going to talk to her tomorrow ont he way to college. i hope i can make her see.....

the only thing is...i dont have the right or the authority to say that i will tke her back. I dont have a right to take her. So i cnt say 'ill have 2 take her back' cus she will get so angry because i dont have a right to do that:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:

[Hugo's There]

personally I think you do as you let her have one of her baby bunnies in good faith and she has let you down.

I was thinking more along the lines though that if you said that to show that you were serious that maybe the two of you could work it out to help the bunny get a better life.

I'm not suggesting you give her money as it sounds like she can afford stuff herself, but maybe go with her to a pet shop to get a run etc.

If you did actually take the bunny what could she do anyway, you could always say you would give her back once she has a better set up for her.

You obviously are very worried about this bunny, can you honestly sit back and do nothing and not regret it later?

[XMissySJx]

no i cant sit back and do nothing. but i cannot take somebody elses pet...

[karen1980]

Sarah,

I'd politely explain to her that your worried about this buns health, thats the buns not happy and how does she feel about making an animal miserable.

You could suggest you build the hutch together?

Ultimatley your friend uis repsonsible for the bunny asnd its welfare,

I'd suggest that you can take it back (nuicley) if she's having problems spending time with it and covering the costs.

Good luck.

[mullethead]

I would tell her about march being vacc month and she could get it done cheaper but the hutch needs to be sorted in someway for the sake of the bun,try and put extra pressure on her if you can:(

[ailz]

How good are you at acting?

I'd keep getting upset over things posted on here about rabbits being rescued from people who keep them in small cages and don't let them out - which is true enough. Also pile it on about rabbits who aren't vaccinated getting ill and costing a fortune, not getting out and becoming deformed (stretching I know) and costing a fortune, having hormonal problems and costing a fortune.

Lay it on with a trowel and try to persuade her to either give you the rabbit back or help her own. Offer to help her with budgeting.

Or, tell the truth about how upset it is making you and how the rabbit won't show any symptoms of her bad care until it's too late to do anything.

Do whatever you need to. This is a time when getting this bun helped justifies the means - keep it legal of course.

Or mix the lot and throw an upset wobbler about 'don't you realise how many rabbits end up being pts because of people keeping them in cages that are too small and not giving them exercise - give an example from on here. Or end up dying because of not getting vaccinations - example - or die young because of not being spayed etc., etc. Burst into tears, tell her it's not her fault, but you read all this and then see her bun and so on.

Emotional blackmail - my parents use it with me over visiting them all the time - :roll:
Good luck

[Becki xX]

I'd say talk to her & tell her the truth about how upset you are that shes let you down in a big way. Dont offer to pay for anything, as hard as that is...once you've payed for one thing, she'll decide she cant afford anything else & will probably sit back whilst you pay for everything. Poor bunny :( X

[LittleStar]

hi sarha jane are you ok i saw you online so hello:wave:

[XMissySJx]

hi sarha jane are you ok i saw you online so hello:wave:

lol oh bless her!!!!(shes my neice) i was at college today but she was round my house with my mum (her nan) and she saw that so that i was online!!! oh bless her!